injuir's library

Freakonomics

2007-07-22T11:27:00.000+08:00

A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Sides of Everything
by Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner

How many books change how you perceive the world? I'm sure there are many around -- for me, this happens to be one of them. The authors challenge some of our "conventional knowledge", things that we have "always known to be true"... and reveals how some of our everyday assumptions are simply wrong, and our human natures can be taken advantage of.

It also reminds us to take statistics and economists with a pinch of salt, that we need to think through the issues before accepting what they seem to show. There is a whole big difference between correlation and causality. For example, he points out that surveys have shown that in America, if you're a "black", changing your name from a "traditionally black name" like DeShawn to a more "white name" like Jake would grant you better chances at job interviews. Sounds like racism? It jolly well might be. But if you stop and think, these people who take the initiative to change their names are probably more motivated and well-informed than other "blacks". Perhaps that is the reason why these people get more job interviews?

Excerpts:

(1) Cheating -- teachers and sumo wrestlers
Economics is, at root, the study of incentives: how people get what they want, or need, especially when other people want or need the same thing. Economists love incentives. They love to dream them up and enact them, study them and tinker with them. The typical ecomomist believes the world has not yet invented a problem that he cannot fix if given a free hand to design proper incentive scheme.

(2) Information control -- the Ku Klux Klan and real-estate agents
It would be naive to suppose that people abuse information only when they are acting as experts or agents of commerce. Agents and experts are people too -- which suggests that we are likely to abuse information in our personal lives as well, whether by withholding true information or editing the information we choose to put forth.

(3) Economics -- drug dealing and the capitalist system
The rules of the tournament are straightforward. You must start at the bottom to have a shot at the top. You must be wiling to work long and hard at substandard wages. In order to advance in the tournament, you must prove yourself not merely above average, but spectacular. And finally once you come to the sad realisation that you will never make it to the top, you quit the tournament.

(4) Real Factors -- how legalized abortion reduced crime.
When the crime rate began falling in the early 1990s, it did so with such speed and suddenness that it surprised everyone. It took some experts many years to even recognise that crime was falling, so confident had they been of its continuing rise... Now the experts hustled to explain their faulty forecasting... After the relief had settled in, after people remembered how to go about their lives without the pressing fear of crime, there arose a natural question: just where did those criminals go?

(5) Parenting -- what matters: who they are or what they do?
Consider again the eight ECLS factors that are correlated with school test results:

The child has highly educated parents
The child's parents have high socioeconomic status
The child's mother was thirty or older at the time of her first child's birth
The child has low birthweight
The child's parents speak English at home
The child is not adopted
The child's parents are involved in PTA
The child has many books in his home

And the eight factoss that are not:

The child's family is intact
The child's parents recently moved into a better neighbourhood
The child's mother didn't work between birth and kindergarten
The child attended Head Start
The child's parents regularly take him to museums
The child is regularly spanked
The child frequently watches television
The child's parents read to him nearly every day.

(6) Naming -- socioeconomic patterns of names
The data show that, on average, a person with a distinctively black name -- whether it is a woman named Imani or a man named DeShawn -- does have a worse life outcome than a woman named Molly or a man named Jake. But it isn't the fault of their names. If two black boys, jake Williams and DeShawn Williams, are born in the same neighbourhood and into the same familial and economic circumstances, they would likely have similar life outcomes. But hte kind of parents whoname hteir son Jake don't tend to live in the same neighbourhoods or share similar economic circumstances with the kind of parents who name their son DeShawn... His name is an indicator -- not a cause -- of his outcome.

Summary available in Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freakonomics

Tuesdays with Morrie

2007-07-21T15:15:00.000+08:00

an old man, a young man, and life's greatest lesson
by Mitch Albom

Morrie Swartz is a dying professor, yet he shares his final lesson on life itself. Through his final dying 3 months, while he was cripplied slowly by ALS and losing his bodily functions, he teaches us how one can still live in hope, gratitude and joy... Something that many people around the world don't, even though they might be healthy, rich and enjoying all of life's comforts.

He points out that the popular culture around the world is wrong... All the blind chase for materialistic comforts and status, the struggles of making great achievements... So many people are running all their lives chasing their dreams, only to be trapped in an eternal cycle of dissatisfaction and wanting more, and to finally find that they don't really know what they really want in fact.

They do not realise that life is to be enjoyed daily. There's nothing at the end of the journey, but it is the journey itself that is enjoyable. The part where most people rush through in frustration, the part which has been taken for granted by so many..

Summary available in Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuesdays_With_Morrie

"Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied, you won’t be envious, you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you’ll be overwhelmed with what comes back."

"You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Because if you’ve find meaning in your life, you don’t want to go back. You want to go forward."

Lateral Thinking

2007-07-20T15:10:00.000+08:00

by Edward de Bono

The Way the Mind Works
The mind is a pattern-making system -- the information system of the mind creates and recognises patterns. How effective the mind is in its one-way communication with the environment depends directly on this ability to create patterns, store them and recognise them. It is possible that a few patterns are built into the mind and these become manifest as instinctual behavior. The mind does not actively sort out information. Instead, the information sorts itself out and organises itself into patterns. In other words, the mind is passive. The mind only provides an opportunity for the informaton to behave in this way. This special environment is a memory surface with special characteristics.

The mind has a limited attention span. Hence, only part of the memory surface can be activated at any one time. It means that the activated area will be a single coherent area and this area will be found in the most easily activated part of the memory surface, which is the most familiar one -- the one which has been encountered most often, the one which has left most trace on the memory surface. And because a familiar pattern tends to be used, it becomes even more familiar. In this way, the mind builds up the stock of preset patterns which are the basis of code communication.

Difference Between Lateral and Vertical Thinking

vertical thinking is selective, lateral thinking is generative.
vertical thinking moves only if there is a direction in which to move, lateral thinking moves in order to generate a direction.
vertical thinking is analytical, lateral thinking is provocative.
vertical thinking is sequential, lateral thinking can make jumps.
with vertical thinking one has to be correct at every step, with lateral thinking one does not have to be.
with vertical thinking one concentrates and excludes what is irrelevant, with lateral thinking one welcomes chance intrusions.
with vertical thinking categories, classifications and labels are fixed, with lateral thinking they are not.
vertical thinking follows the most likely paths, lateral thinking explores the least likely.
vertical thinking is a finite process, lateral thinking is a probabilistic one.

The difference between lateral and vertical thinking are very fundamental. It is not a matter of one process being more effective than the other, for both are necessary -- it is a matter of realising the differences in order to be able to use both effectively.

- With vertical thinking, one uses information for its own sake to move forward to a solution.
- With lateral thinking, one uses information not for its own sake, but provocatively in order to bring about repatterning.

Further thinking~
The Generation of Alternatives
Challenging Assumptions
Innovation
Suspended Judgement
Design
Dominant Ideas and Crucial Factors
Fractionation
The Reversal Method
Brainstorming
Analogies
Choice of Entry Point and Attention Area
Random Stimulation
Concepts / Divisions / Polarisation
The New Word - Po
Blocked by Openness
Description / Problem Solving / Design

Parallel Thinking

2007-07-19T15:01:00.000+08:00

by Edward de Bono

Parallel Thinking vs. Western Thinking

Traditional thinking is firmly based on 'judgement'.
This is the key mental activity:

Is / Is not
True / False
Either / Or
Right / Wrong
Proven / Not proven

What are we judging?

We set up 'true' definitions, categories, boxes, and we judge whether something fits into a box or not. We judge which box the matter fits into. We seek to derive these boxes from experience, as Socrates sought to drive his true definitions of 'justice' etc., or we may decree these boxes, as in 'game truth' (we decide the rules of the game). We set up dichotomeies and opposites in order to force a judgement choice or to prove another party wrong. We also judge consistency, fit and the sufficiency of evidence for a statement. Why are we doing this?

We are doing it because we want to 'discover' the truth. We are interested in the truth of 'what is'. We believe that if you have the truth then all else is easy. It is a basic 'search idiom', like prospecting for gold. To help us in this search we use analysis and collect information.

New ideas are supposed to be presented by evolution, by creative individuals, or by 'opposites' process of thesis / antithesis followed by synthesis. Once presented, the ideas are battered into useful shape by criticism. Judgement always within the existing paradigm.

In parallel thinking the key idiom is 'design', not search. Instead of the harsh accept / reject operation of judgement, there is 'possibility'. We accept possibilities even if they are contradictory and mutually exclusive. We lay them down alongside each other in parallel.

Parallel Thinking vs Traditional Thinking

Parallel		Traditional
Thinking		Thinking

...................................................
'What can be' ..... 'What is'
Design ................ Search
Build ................... Discover
Create ................ Repeat
Constructive ..... Destructive
Action ................ Description
Possible ............. Certain
Acceptance ....... Refutation
Value ................. Righteousness
Windows ........... Categories
Flagpoles ........... Boxes
Spectrum .......... Dichotomies
Overlap ............. Discrimination
Soft edge ........... Hard edge
Reconcile ........... Reject ( contradictions )
Parallel .............. Adversarial
Laying aside ...... Gatekeeping judging
Exploration ....... Clash
Perceptions ....... Processing
Subjective .......... Objective
'to' ........................ 'is'
'Water logic' ...... 'Rock logic'
'What next' ....... 'What is'
Flow .................. Identity
Ideas ................. Information
Creative ............Description
Movement ....... Judgement
Whole ............... Part
Non-linear ...... Linear
System ............ Element
Forward ........... Backward
Change ............. Stability
Challenge ........ Defend
Wisdom .......... Cleverness
Plural ............... Single
Humility .......... Arrogance

The Failure of Western Thinking
1. Western thinking has failed because it is suitable only for certain purposes and totally inadequate for other purposes.

The Socratic method was designed for a very specific purpose - to find the one truth. Following the subjectivity of the Sophists, some whom believed that personal perceptual truths were the only truths, Socrates set out to 'discover' the 'true definitions' of such things as 'justice'. He was concerned with putting ethics onto a firm basis so that the persuasive skills of the Sophists could no longer sway society. Plato, with his strong fascist tendencies, developed the notion of 'ideal forms' which was imposed on the world by this thinking. Later Aristotle ( the third member of the 'Gang of Three' ) tightened up the system and showed its application to science. Throughout the ages, this 'discovery-of-the-truth' idiom has been very attractive to philosophers, to religious thinkers and to scientists because it has been the basis of their employment.

But this idiom is totally inadequate when there is a need to construct, to build, to change and to design a way forward. You can discover gold, but you have to design and build a house. Applying standards is no use if there is a need to develop new ideas. Where problems cannot be solved by identifying and removing the cause, there is a need to 'design a way forward'.

2. Western thinking has failed because it is actually dangerous and forces us to look at the world in a harmful way.

From the 'search for the truth' and the harshness of the judgement system have come righteousness, arrogance and intolerance of plurality. When you have found the 'truth' you know that everyone else must be 'wrong'. Indeed you must show them they are wrong, because this is one of the fundamental ways of proving that you are right. You set up a mutually exclusive dichotomy and then prove the other side wrong.

3. Western thinking has failed because of its complacency and its ability to defend itself have made it impossible to develop different thinking methods.

Because criticism is so easy, it has become a dominating habit of even intelligent people. There is a ridiculous belief that it is enough to get rid of the 'bad things' and what will be left are good things. today's experience all over the world shows that getting rid of the bad things only results in chaos. There may no longer be any people or party to blame, but that is the only gain.

The elevation of the 'critical intelligence' to the highest level of human endeavour has probably been the single greatest mistake of Western intellectual development. Yet that is still the basis of our culture and our universities. That is danger indeed.

In times of total stability, the critical intelligence might have been necessary to prevent any change and to keep things on the agreed course. But we are so very poor at dealing with change because we still hold that dangerous belief.

Western thinking is failing because it is not designed to deal with a changing world. It is failing because it is inadequate to deal with change, because it does not offer creative, constructive and design energy. It is failing because it suggests dangerous judgements and discriminations which tend to make things worse ( as in legistrative chambers and politics ). It is failing because its complacent arrogance prevents it from seeing the extent of its failure.

Further thinking~
The Wrong Tackle
Order out of Chaos
Order
The Socratic Method
How the Socratic Method Worked
The Doubters
The Search
Criticism and Removing 'Untruth'
Adversaries, Argument and Debate
Parallel Thinkning
Problem-Solving
The Evolution of Ideas
The Search for the Truth
The Truth
Questions
Definitions, Boxes, Categories and Generalisations
The Value of Boxes
The Problem of 'Is'
The Tyranny of Judgement
Possibility vs Certainty
Exploration vs Judgement
Design vs Analysis
Information vs Ideas
Movement vs Judgement
Create vs Discover
Inner World vs Outer World
Alternatives
Parallels
Possibilities
Designing a Way Forward
Wisdom vs Cleverness
Dialectic vs Parallels
Actiond vs Description
Value vs Truth
Water Logic and Parallel Thinking
Overlap
Change vs Stability
New Language Devices

What Color Is Your Parachute?

2007-07-18T14:54:00.002+08:00

by Richard Nelson Bolles
Online site: http://www.jobhuntersbible.com/intro/wciyp.php

The Traditional Job-Hunt

The Way a
Typical Employer
Prefers to
Fill a
Vacancy
(Downwards)

The Way a
Typical Job-Hunter
Prefers to
Fill a
Vacancy
(Upwards)

From Within : Promotion of a full-time employee, or promotion of a present part-time employee, or hiring a former consultant for in-house or contract work, or hiring a former "temp" full-time. Employer's thoughts: "I want to hire someone whose works I have already seen."
Implication for Job Hunters : See if you can get hired at an organisation you have chosen - as a temp, contract worker, or consultant -- aiming at a full time position only later (or not at all)

Using Proof : Hiring an Unknown Job-Hunter who brings proof of what he or she can do, with regards to the skills needed.
Implication for Job Hunters : If you are a programmer, bring a program you have done -- with its code; if you are a photographer, bring photos. etc.

Using Best Friend or Business Colleague : Hiring someone whose work a trusted friend of yours has seen ( perhaps they worked for him or her )
Implication for Job Hunters : Find someone who knows the person-who-has-the-power-to-hire at your target organisation, who also knows your work and will introduce you two.

Using an Agency They Trust : This may be a recruiter or search firm the employer has hired; or from a private employment agency -- both of which have checked you out, on behalf of the employer.

Using an Ad They Have Placed ( online or in the newspapers, etc )

Using a Resume : Even if the resume was unsolicited ( if the employer is desperate ).

Looking for a Job

Write your resume well. There are several resume-writing resources enumerated in the book for your easy reference. You may also ask your friends who are known for writing excellent resumes for assistance.
Your resume should be a summary of relevant work accomplishments, citing what tasks you were responsible for, what obstacle you had to overcome and what you did to solve the problem and what the results of your actions translated into in terms of profits, etc.
Go where the employers go: www.monster.com, www.hotjobs.com, www.flipdog.com, and www.eurojobs.com are just some sample sites you could look at.
There are other ways to find a job than on the Internet. Use your contacts. Study the phone book, or look around your neighborhood. It is still always best to be referred to an employer by a good friend or colleague.

How Employers Hunt for Job-Hunters
Employers like it when you:

Find their job ad on the Internet or on their web site.
E-mail your resume immediately.
Mail a professionally laid-out paper copy to the employer’s mailing address on the same day.
Make a follow-up phone call within the week to see if both copies were received, and to inquire about an appointment for an interview.
If you do get interviewed, send a thank-you note immediately after the interview.

23 Tips to a Successful Job-Hunt

No one owes you a job. You have to go out and look for it.
Your success is directly proportionate to your effort.
Be willing to change your strategy.
Ask successful job hunters what they did.
Treat your job-hunt as a full time job.
Remember that the shortest job hunt still lasts between two and eighteen weeks.
Persistence is the name of the game.
You will not find the same exact job you had before, so redefine yourself.
Forget what is “available” and go for the job you really want.
Tell everyone to keep a lookout for that type of job opening.
If you own an answering machine, tailor your opening message to communicate your ongoing job hunt.
Join a job-hunter’s support group in your area. If you can’t find any, create your own.
Go after several organizations at once.
Go after any place that interests you regardless of whether there are vacancies or not.
Concentrate on organizations that employ 20 people or less.
Go see 4 potential employers a day. If you are using the telephone, call up 40 a day.
Use the phone and the Yellow Pages to call up places of interest and ask if they are hiring.
Go to places where you would like to work and knock on their doors.
Look for full-time, part-time, contract jobs or temporary jobs and other types of jobs.
Forget about your handicap, whether real or imagined.
Don’t become depressed if you encounter several rejections.
Treat everyone you meet with courtesy.
Write a thank-you note to those who gave you their time that day.

Finding Your Dream Job
How do you identify your dream job?

What are my transferable skills? What are my fields of fascination?
Draw a picture or in this case, The Flower diagram we use in Parachute, to have a picture of your new career. Give it a name. Go find a person who is already doing it.
Interview that person for information, to find out what the job is really like.
Research organizations in your area.
Network and seek out the persons who have the power to hire you.
Use your contacts to get to this person and show him how you stand out among others.
Take no short cuts, if you need to re-train or go back to school to get your dream job, do it.
Do not put all your eggs in one basket. If one path isn’t working, try a Plan B.

The 10 Commandments for Job Interviews

Go after small organizations, those with 20-50 employees.
Ask everyone you know to keep a look out for your specific job opening.
Do your homework on the organization before going there.
Identify the person with the power to hire you and use your contacts to see this person.
Ask for only 20 minutes of their time and keep to your word.
Go to the interview to see if this organization suits your values, your agenda and your life.
When answering questions keep your answers down to 20 seconds or two minutes, max.
Approach them as a resource person who can offer a service rather than a job beggar.
Always send a thank-you note the very next day after an interview.
Little things may turn them off such as personal hygiene and lack of self-confidence.

The Seven Secrets of Salary Negotiation

Never discuss salary until the end of the interviewing process, when they have definitely said they will hire you.
The purpose of salary negotiation is to find out the most that an employer is willing to pay to get you.
Never be the first to mention a salary figure.
Do your homework on how much you will need per month.
Do careful research on salaries in your field or in that organization.
Define a range the employer may have in mind, and a range for yourself.
Don’t leave it hanging. Bring the salary negotiation to a close. Request a letter of agreement or an employment contract. Get it in writing.

Quarter-Life Crisis

2007-07-17T14:53:00.000+08:00

by Alexandra Robbins & Abby Wilner

How Am I Supposed to Figure Out Who I Really Am?

"So, What Do You do?"
What Now?
Compromising Promises
Finding a Passion
Keeping the Faith
Trial and Error
Changing Their Minds
Job Hopping
Constant Evolution

What If I'm Scared to Stop Being a Kid?

End of Innocence
Are We There Yet?
The Parent Trap
Inescapable Influence
The Times They Are A-Changing

What If I Fail?

Ready, Set, Fail
Going After the Dream
Abort Mission
Plan B
Advice from the Pros

What Do All of these Doubts Mean?

Doubts and Questions
Working Problem
Social Adjustments
Overwhelming Factors
Anchors Aweigh
Dashed Expectations
Paradise Cost
Trying Out Therapy
Brushing It Off

How Do I Know the Decisions I'm Making Are the Right Ones?

Many Right Thing
How Do I Know If I'm Sure About Somebody?
Gut Instinct
Gray Matter
Going With It

How Do I Work Out the Right Balance Among My Career, Friends, Family and Romance?

Stuff Happens
Work Won't Make You Coffee in the Morning
When Love Comes to Town
Stress Fractures
Balancing Act

Can I Carry Any Part of My College Experience into the Real World?

6 Degrees of Separation
Battling for the Majors
Look at All the Lonely People
Lifestyle Changes
Continuing Education
What You Can Take With You

No More Butterflies

2007-07-16T14:49:00.000+08:00

Overcoming Stagefright, Shyness, Interview Anxiety & Fear of Public Speaking
by Peter Desburg, Ph. D

What do you fear?
Ask yourself this question.
Whenever you're not in action, you are in fear of something.
When you feel that you're underachieving, you're also under the control of fear...

So how do we deal with our fears?
1. Relax.

Simply relax. Let go of everything for a moment. Realise that you cannot multitask effectively - you cannot concentrate on your performance when you are constantly worried that someone is ridiculing you, or when you are constantly judging yourself.

2. Identify and analyse your fears.

Write them down. Make the abstract more concrete. Imagine the situation you fear to be in. Look and feel the evidence supporting your fear. Include the worst-case scenarios you think may happen, and possible alternative interpretations. Basically, confront your fears head-on. Then spring into action. Analyse your fears. Look at what you have written down. Does it still make sense? Is it exaggerated? Are there logical thinking flaws?

3. Challenge your fears.

Set goals to minimize the chance of such situations occurring. Plan and act.

Dealing with avoidance and procrastination
1. For avoidance -

It's all about convincing yourself. Write down the rewards for doing whatever action, as well as the advantages of avoiding the task. It should now seem that action is almost always superior to inaction and avoidance.

2. For procrastination -

Prepare a "con list". Every time you procrastinate some action, for legitimate reasons or not, write that reason down on that list. And every time you do that, look at your previous entries. You'll be surprised how difficult it is to use a reason after you have used it a few times already.

Stress Inoculation -- "anxiety vaccination"
1. Systematic Desensitization (The Gradual Approach)

Be relaxed. Set goals and milestones for yourself. Go small steps at a time, and as you master each step, move on to the next, until you arrive at your goal.

Eg. You have to give a speech to a huge audience.

You may act as follows:

Present your talk into a voice recorder
Try the talk on a friend or two
Try it on a few colleagues
Try it on a larger group similar to your intended audience
Give the talk to the actual audience

2. Flooding (Comparable Practice)

Similar to how some people learn how to swim - Plunge right in! Then plunge in again! And again! ...

3. Implosion (Going Beyond)

Doing something even more difficult - this will make your task at hand seem so easy.
Eg. Instead of giving the talk to the group of 100 people, find a larger audience of 200 and present your speech. At your actual 100-people talk, it'll seem easier.

Improving performance
1. Reducing Anxiety
2. Reducing Self-Monitoring
~ you can't concentrate properly when you're constantly judging yourself

additional practice - become so good at your performance that self-monitoring will be less effective
attention focusing - focus your attention on the presentation and connecting with people
practise while self-monitoring - judge and improve yourself in practise session to improve
monitor the audience - change accordingly!

3. Increasing organisation

Mnemonic Techniques
Preparing an Outline
Preparing the Complete Text

4. Praticing

Practise Frequently
Use Imagery To Simulate the Actual Presentation Environment
Practise Incidentals
Practise as You Will Perform
Practise Physical Skills

Overcoming Shyness

Causes:

1. A fear of people
2. Situations that invoke a fear of negative evaluation
3. Low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness
4. A perceived lack of social skills

Additional skills which are useful:

Giving (and Receiving) Compliments
Saying "No"

- Determine if the request is reasonable
- Clarify any doubts
- Avoid excuse for saying "no"
- Avoid apologising when you say "no"

Public Speaking Techniques
3 Parts - Pre-Production, Production and Post-Production

- Pre-Production

Choosing a Topic
Determining a Purpose - remember that a speech is not like a pamphlet; take note of your intonation, facial expressions, non-verbal techniques and gestures, eye contact, personal interaction
Establish Your Credibility - make them believe you're "real"
Prepare the Material to be Included - from the audience's perspective, scope
Researching the Topic - examples, imagery
Visual Aids - ensure they're not a distraction instead
Organising the Talk - intro, body and conclusion
Editing the Talk - shorten the presentation for greater effectiveness, double space the initial draft for easy editing, write out the original version as you edit
Audience Involvement - ask them questions, ask for comments, get them to ask you questions
Advice - reduces uncertainty, suggest preparation activities, source of criticism, role models

- Production

Handouts - too many things for them to remember? include only important points
Non-verbal Communication - don't talk about things that make you uncomfortable, appear to enjoy giving the talk, make eye contact
Never Apologise for Small Mistakes You Make - people normally do not notice, or care, and it'll make you more nervous
Compliment the Audience and Show Them Respect

- Post-Production

Evaluate the Talk

Using humour

Humour and jokes should be self-directed if possible. Never direct hostile jokes to your audience or anyone who can make you seem discriminatory. Even if you think the jokes are pretty harmless, others may not think so. And remember the power of crowd influence.

Interviews and Auditions
There are several types of interviews -

Direct Interviews
Unstructured Interviews
Stress Interviews
Group Interviews
Board Interviews
Screening Interviews
Selection Interviews

Preparation for the Interview:

What does the company do?
What is its major competitors, and how is the company unique?
Is the company growing or downsizing?
What are the major books, publications, and professional organizations in your field?
What are the current trends, alternate points of view, and competing theories?
Identify the job specifications before the interview

Common Questions in an Interview:

Tell me about yourself
Explain any difficult circumstances at a previous job, and the conditions under which you left.
Why do you want to work in this field, or at this job?
Why do you want to work for this company?
What are your career objectives?
What are your unique qualifications?
What are your major strengths and weaknesses?

Tips for the Interview:

Remember the interviewer's name
Attempt to make eye contact
Do not use the interview as an opportunity to make personal statements.
As you respond, it's essential to look comfortable rather than awkward or guilty.
While humour is generally a plus, be careful not to use it insensitively.
Maintain total honesty.
Use the full palette of presentation tools to keep the interviewer interested.
Become sensitive to the interviewer.
Help the interview flow smoothly.
Learn to deal with silence in the interview.
Bring pen and paper to the interview.

Grow Rich With Peace of Mind

2007-07-15T14:39:00.000+08:00

by Napoleon Hill

Chapters...

Know your own mind, live your own life
Close the doors to your past
The Basic Mental Attitude that brings wealth and peace of mind
When you are free of fear, you are free to live
Will you master money? or will it enslave you?
The blessed art of sharing your riches
How to develop your own healthy ego
How to transmute sex emotion into Achievement Power
To succeed in life, succeed in being yourself
The Master Mind group -- a power beyond science
Win mighty aid from the Eternal Law of Compensation
You are very important - for a short while
Not too much, not too little
The magic power of belief
Enthusiasm - and something more
It is up to you to live the life the Creator gave you

"I will allow no person's opinion, no influence to enter my mind which does not harmonize with my purpose."

close the doors to your past!
- in so far as any regrets or bitterness or post-mortems are concerned
- when you have attained peace of mind, your mind will automatically reject every thought and every mental reaction

being wealthy is not having peace of mind !!
We do need enough money so that we need not worry about everyday expenses. But money itself doesn't give us a peace of mind.
Do we realise that not working for money, but what money can bring?
Does money work for you, or do you work for money?

With positive attitudes, we see opportunities and prompts action.
With negative attitudes, we see fears, obstacles, difficulties and failure. It prompts inaction instead.

Major motives :-

Emotion of Love
Emotion of Sex
Desire for Material Gain
Desire for Self-Preservation
Desire for Freedom of Body and Mind
Desire for Self-Expression
Desire for Perpetuation of Life After Death

motives :-

Emotion of Anger and revenge
Emotion of Fear

Fear is really something man created just to make himself suffer. It does nothing but cause worry and inaction, based on events that have not happened yet, and may not happen at all. Hence, it is important to LIVE IN THE NOW !!! In fact, thoughts of fear of something can actually directly or indirectly cause it to happen..

The Guardian Angels (of Guidance)

Angel of Peace of Mind
Angel of Hope and Faith
Angel of Love and Romance
Angel of Sound Physical Health
Angel of Financial Security
Angel of Overall Wisdom
Angel of Patience
Angel of Freedom

Major Fears ...

Poverty
Criticism
Ill health
Loss of love
Loss of liberty
Old age
Death

Great Riches of Life

a positive mental attitude
sound physical health
harmony in human relationships
freedom from fear
hope of future achievement
capacity for faith
willingness to share one's knowledge
a labour of love as an occupation
an open mind on all subjects
self-discipline in all circumstances
capacity to understand others
sufficient money to live comfortably

So how rich are you? how much would you sell your health for? Or your arm?

Dark Enemies

Fear
Greed
Intolerance
Egotism
Lust
Anger
Hatred
Jealousy
Impatience
Deceit
Falsehood
Insincerity
Vanity

Cruelty
Mercilessness
Injustice
Slander
Gossip
Undependability
Dishonesty
Disloyalty
Revenge
Worry
Envy
Hypochondria (fear of sickness)
Indecision

The Skeptic's Guide to the Paranormal

2007-07-14T14:37:00.000+08:00

by Lynne Kelly

Excerpt:
Entry-level Cold Reading
The beginner's version is just to use a standard spiel which pretty well fits everyone. The most famous is that developed by Bertram Forer in 1948 and gleaned from astrology columns collected at the local newsstand, His students rated it on average at over four out of five, with five being perfect. It has received similar ratings over subsequent decades of testing. How would you rate it for accuracy for yourself?

Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic. At times you are extroverted, affable, while at other times you are introverted, wary and reserved. You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. You pride yourself on being an independent thinker and do not accept others' opinions without satisfactory proof. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety, and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. Disciplined and controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside.

You sexual adjustment has presented some problems for you. While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them. You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage. You have a tendency to be critical of yourself. You have a strong need for other people to like you and for them to admire you.

....

(When I first read this, I was quite stunned... But on hindsight, it all makes sense. It is obvious that no one behaves the same way under circumstances. Everyone has their "other side". Makes me wonder, aren't we all the same, but trying to be different?)

Drop the Pink Elephant

2007-07-13T14:32:00.000+08:00

by Bill McFarlan

"Don't think of a pink elephant!"

- often, the "don't" word would disappear, leaving you with a clear picture of a pink elephant...

What is a pink elephant?
->an unnecessary, and normally vivid negative image
--> Drop the Pink Elephant!! Stick to positives

Section 1 : Dump the Baggage and Create Clarity
1. Drop the Pink Elephant

describe what is happening, rather than denying what you believe is someone else's perception

2. Every Picture Tells a Story

speak in vivid pictures to paint clear descriptions
avoid vague concepts that are difficult to picture
use analogies to turn abstract concepts into clear pictures

3. Keep it Simple, Stupid

keep your message simple to have the best chance of being understood
take to all jargon and TLAs (three-letter-abbreviation)
Avoid talking above or below your audience's level. Talk to them. Talk at their level

Section 2 : Be Principled in What You Say
3. Staying on the Highway (not into the marsh)

retain the moral high ground by remaining patient and polite
be sure of your facts and use only polite explanation

4. Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

to be wrong hurts us deeply. It shakes our self-confidence, and makes us doubt our ability. But the truth may well be that we are simply wrong
saying "sorry" is the best way to start rebuilding confidence in your relationship
people respect those who have the courage to apologise, and lose respect for those who pretend to be infallible
3 Rs - Regret, Reason, Remedy
- Apology, Explanation and Solution
- This manages expectations, which must then be met

6. Tell the Unpalatable Truth, Rather than the "White" Lie

differentiate between 'Fact' and 'Opinion'
the truth can be defined by how far you're willing to go to establish a fact
the truth is reality; a lie is a figment of the imagination
once a lie is discovered, you're a liar

7. Thank You and Well Done

demonstrates appreciation
raises self-confidence and also the person you're thanking
builds loyalty, while the lack of recognition builds indifference
when someone thanks you, accept his / her gratitude with good grace. Put it in your "bank" and watch your confidence grow

8. Who Looks Stupid When You Criticise in Public?

criticism in public often tells more about you than your target
what is the greater crime? to get a fact wrong, or to leave your partner, friend or colleague angry, upset or embarrassed? (unless the mistake leads to confusion / misinterpretation)
criticism
- constructive - to be delivered in private, only if you can suggest a better way of doing something
- destructive - destroys confidence and turn them into critics themselves

9. Avoid Sarcasm

use humour well --> how? directed inwards!!
a remark is only funny if the audience finds it funny (not yourself)
self-depreciating humour will usually win an audience on your side
sarcasm can be witty, or gratuitously vicious

Section 3 : Positively Assert yourself
10. Flush out the Watering-Down Words

don't depreciate yourself. Take credit!
remove words that dilute your message eg "quite", "relatively", "hopefully", "fairly" etc
"I think" ---> "I believe" ---> "(none)"

changes from opinion to belief statement to a fact/challenge/commitment

"I'll try" and "try my best" means INACTION!! =X= "I'll"
"I'll do my best" ... my best =X= your best ...
assume? check!! it'll save lots of trouble and potential embarrassment

11. Talk Positively About Yourself

"How are you?" --- "surviving" -> "not bad" -> "very well"
tells people about your self-esteem (and you may happen to know that most people don't really want to know how your kitchen pipe leaks etc..)
start describing your life positively and watch the interest grow
be positive and proactive in the face of bad news. By breaking the news, you remain in control what's being said first

12. Yes; No; I don't know..

"yes" is a powerful word
avoid being evasive, where possible begin an answer with "yes", "no" or "I don't know"
"no" is the correct answer when you need to assert what you want
"I don't know" is the honest answer to many questions. Remember to add what you know

Section 4 : Think of the Audience
13. It's all relative

for anything to be interesting, we need to relate to it
what's interesting to us may be boring to our audience
puts a problem in perspective to see how small it really is --> Richard Carlson - "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff"
- (A plate is smashed in the kitchen; some people get very upset about such situations. But considering that either you will outlast the plate or vice versa, which would you rather happen?)

14. E-mail and Text - Bullets or Boomerangs

e-mails travel faster than bullets, so be certain of what you're saying before pulling the trigger
consider how your e-mail would look on the front page of a newspaper, because it could end up there
remember that words look harsh when tone and body language are absent

15. The Queen's English

writing for the eye to read VS writing for the ear to hear
conversational English makes a speech or presentation much easier to follow
the misuse of words can be an obstacle to understanding
we all can have accents; stop being too self-conscious about yours

16. Three Little Questions

What do I want to say?
Who am I talking to?
So how should I explain it?

always have a few points ready
consider your audience and their interests
arrange your bullet points in order of importance

Section 5 : Create Deeper Understanding
17. Listen First to Understand

listen carefully to the person you're talking to
take a genuine interest in what they say to widen your understanding
contribute to the conversation in meaningful way, rather than just waiting to butt in

18. Pay Attention to Percentages

55% - by the body language
38% - by the tone of the voice
7% - by words
body language accounts for 55% of the message, so make sure your eye contact in particular underlines what you're saying, rather than undermining it

19. Powerful Words

powerful words can sum up a situation better than loose thoughts
they can inspire you to succeed and to act in the knowledge that others have gone there before you
words have to be consistent with your actions. Otherwise they're just words

20. Think, then Talk, then Act

21. Now Tell The World

put the Highway Code rules of communications into action every day
allow your confidence to grow from the certainty they bring to your words, your thoughts and actions
tell the world what you have to offer. It can mean the difference between success and failure, happiness and frustration, even life and death

Being Happy

2007-07-12T14:34:00.000+08:00

by Andrew Matthews

Change and the subconscious

The mind is like an iceberg: there is the part we see, the conscious, and the much larger part we don't see, the sub-conscious. Our subconscious mind is responsible for a large slice of the results in life
These rotten patterns I have - when will they change? When will they stop? The answer is," Life changes when we change"
Old negative patterns are tenacious but changeable
All change is met with resistance; be prepared for challenges
We are never stuck with patterns; always think positively about yourself and visualise your life you want it to be
The world is a reflection of ourselves
The goal of any psychotherapy is to change an individual's image of himself
Self-confidence
You deserve the love and respect just because you are you
Our subconscious behavior and our subconscious programmes are intertwined with our self-concept
Our expectations can make us sick
Think healthy, happy thoughts; accept and love yourself where you are right now, and acknowledge that you have been living life to the best
Pain causes us to contemplate, to change direction. It prompts us to look at things differently. Some people never realise that it is time to take their hand off the stove
The environment affects us much; if you are serious about changing your life, get serious about changing what surrounds you.
Change is inevitable - face changes bravely, as it is natural for all things to change
Do not blame anyone, including yourself for things. Change and solve the problem
If you are not happy, CHANGE! It is the easiest to change yourself!

Money

Use money; don't let money use you
Money -
- commitment
- save, then spend
- observe wealthy people
- ask for help
- spoil yourself occasionally
- stretch you belief system
- reaffirm yourself
- make plans; set goals
- trust yourself with money
- do not blame others. Or yourself.
- enthusiasm
- poverty is a mental disease

Fear

You are only open to intense fear when you are being inactive; the minute you start to take action and actually do something, fear subsides
Living in the now is about taking action without the fear of the consequences ( but no without considering... )

Live in the now

Live for now; enjoy everything you have now
Time doesn't really exist, except as an abstract concept in your head. The present moment is the only time you have.
Letting go of situations sometimes accelerates results

Forgiveness

If we refuse to forgive somebody, then we are really saying," Instead of taking some action to improve matters, I prefer to live in the past, and blame somebody for it. ( or blame myself )". We are just putting ourselves through extra mental anguish
Unforgiveness is one of the greatest causes of sickness, because a sour mind creates a sour body
Blaming and feeling guilty are equally dangerous and destructive
When we are to blame, we avoid the real issue which is to do something about the problem
It's always our choice whether we get on with our life and live in the now, or whether we chain ourselves to grudges and upsets of the past
Be open and frank; people will love you for it

Imagination rules

Your subconscious mind affects what you get: Think positive to get positive results.
Exercise your imagination: it rules the world
Have wild dreams and take steps to fulfill them
Have a goal and review it constantly
Whether you think you will succeed or not, you are probably right
Mental practice is very important ( maybe even better than physical exercise ) as there are little distractions etc, and it builds confidence
What you believe is often what you get; think positive
The mind creates mind thoughts: such thoughts can attract like a magnet. Discipline your thoughts and you can determine what you reap

Thoughts and Words

Speak only if you have something constructive and positive to say
Repeat thoughts to reaffirm yourself: our words affect how we think and feel
ASK! Asking is important as it
- indicates self-worth and self-esteem
- keeps you healthy through openness
- is logical as others cannot read minds
- makes others happy to help you
- ~ even if people reject us 50% of the time, at least we get some help on the other 50% of the time, which we otherwise will not have!

Working at being happy

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be
Most people remember compliments for a few minutes and insults for years
Being happy can be hard work sometimes - you've got to hang on to your treasures and throw out the garbage
Disasters aren't so disastrous if we tackle them a piece at a time. The sooner we recognize what we stand to gain from the experience, the easier it is to deal with
Laughter is the best medicine
If everything has gone wrong, why worsen things by not being happy as well?
An attribute of gratitude ensures that our attention is on what we want. Count your blessings and you'll get more
Whatever labels we place on ourselves are our responsibility
Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it
Living is different from pure existence. Life is a risk, but that makes it interesting
To get whatever you want, do whatever you can!
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch
the hour before dawn is the darkest; hang in there and you will see brightness
Notice how much children laugh every day?
Relax and stay calm - it's the best way to solve problems
Be emotionally unattached, let go of end-results and work towards our goals. It is the process that is challenging and rewarding
Life is worthless, unless you give it value
Wherever you are, it is the place to start; the effort put in will make a difference!

Making Friends

2007-07-11T14:32:00.000+08:00

by Andrew Matthews

Be yourself

Most people live lives of quiet desperation -- don't
Stop comparing; no one is the same
Remember that no one is perfect!
We don't have to change everyone else -- when we gently change some of our own ideas, our relationships improve automatically
People who laugh at themselves have more fun, more friends and less ulcers! When we feel embarrassed about ourselves, others feel embarrassed, and ultimately, we cut them off
While a belief system is holding you back, you keep creating opportunities for yourself to learn about it. Once you make a breakthrough, you don't really have to keep learning the same lesson, and your life changes
You can control the situation. Make your own decisions and stay by it. There is no need to seek approval of others. You need not explain your actions
Be your own judge as to what is fair -- don't allow others to sentence you to guilt based on their own perceptions of right and wrong. Dare to say "NO" without guilt, or explanation.

Problem Solving

It's often your own fault; fix them and learn the lesson
Nobody can make you miserable without your permission
Don't concentrate on the problem -- concentrate on the solutions!
Only little people make nasty remarks and only little people rake offense. Be a big person
There are 3 types of arguers:
- Reformers
- Attention seekers
- Fighters
~ Don't even bother with the last two. They have the right to disagree, but that's it

Interpersonal

Be tactful and tell it like it is. Honesty with others is a sign of respect for others, and a sign of self-respect
Express anger rationally. Let others know how you feel frankly, instead of scolding or keeping it to yourself. Say "I am angry about... " or "I really appreciate... , but... "
Others respect us to the degree we respect ourselves
Never be dragged by guilt or predictions
Assert yourself and be objective about it
Take responsibility for your feelings and be specific on what you want.
You win some you lose some:
When you win, it means that you can take control of the situation and get what you want
If you lose, at least you have expressed your feelings
What people think of you is none of your business
While respecting others, be true to yourself; if people disagree with you, it's their business
Compliments make people feel wonderful
People do crave recognition
Good speakers
- relate to their audience
- give little thought to the impression they are making
- are humourous
Listen!! Simply listen. People will appreciate that
Believe in yourself
Give everyone personal space
People appreciate us for what we say, and what we don't say even more sometimes
Do not tell people that they are wrong, look for alternatives
Admitting mistakes is brave and admirable

Attitude 101

2007-07-10T14:24:00.000+08:00

by John C Maxwell

Axioms about attitude

our attitude determines our approach to life
our attitude determines our relationships
often our attitude is the only difference between success and failure
our attitude at the start of a task will affect its outcome more than anything else
our attitude can turn our problems into blessings
our attitude can give us an uncommonly positive perspective
your attitude is not automatically good because you're a religious person

"A person with an outstanding attitude makes the best of it while he gets the worst of it."
"Life can be likened to a grindstone. Whether it grinds you or polishes you depend upon what you are."

Learned Optimism

2007-07-09T14:31:00.000+08:00

by Martin E.P. Seligman

Control VS Helplessness
How we think problems are (where most of the time, they aren't)
- Permanent - eg I'll never learn to skate
- Pervasive - eg I can't do anything well
- Personal - eg I am too stupid for that
Dispute!
- Dispute inaccurate, pessimistic and degrading thoughts about yourself ( and anyone else )
- rationalize your thoughts!!
  - treat yourself as a madman. rethink your thoughts, and see if they really hold

A few things to remember:
A - adversity
B - belief
C - consequence
D - dispute
E - energize

Personality Profile

2007-07-08T14:24:00.000+08:00

Allen R. Miller

Automatic Thoughts

helps / deters you from reaching your goals
Self-fulfilling prophecies...

Psychodynamics

Identity ---------- Ego ----------	Super-ego
(eg physical needs, drives, instincts)	(eg conscience)

Defence Mechanisms
When ego can't deal with some problems, it switches to Defence Mechanisms like:

denial (evasion)
repression (bottle up)
intellectualization (separate emotion and memory)
displacement (vent on others)
projection (find faults with others but not self)
reaction formation (doing just the opposite eg. instead of slapping someone, you give him a big hug.)
identification (find role-model)
regression (revert to earlier habits etc)
rationalisation (make excuses)
sublimation (use energies on something else)

Neurosis Theory (our needs)

affection / approval desire for partner restricting life to narrow borders	} Compliance
desire for power or control over others exploitation of others social recognition personal admiration from others personal achievement	} Aggression
self-sufficiency and independence perfection	} Withdrawal

Stages of development -- Erik Erikson

Trust VS Distrust
Autonomy VS Doubt
Initiative VS Guilt
Industry VS Inferiority
Identity VS Role Confusion
Intimacy VS Isolation
Generativity VS Stagnantation
Ego-Integrity VS Despair

Schemas

- cognitive structures
- how we interpret our experiences

Schema Domains

Disconnection & Rejection
Impaired Autonomy & Performance
Impaired Limits
Other-directedness
Overvigilance & inhibition

Schemas:
Shy ---- Outgoing
Passive ---- Aggressive
Emotionally flat ---- Emotionally intensive
Anxious ---- Fearless
Sensitive ---- Invulnerable

Temperament

- shy vs outgoing
- passive vs aggressive
- emotionally flat vs emotionally intense
- anxious vs fearless
- sensitive vs invulnerable

Early Environment

Cognitive Disorders:

All-or-nothing thinking
Catastrophizing
Disregarding the positive
Emotional reasoning
Labeling
Magnifying and minimizing
Mental filters
Mind-reading
Overgeneralisation
Personalizing
Making "should" or "must" statements
Having tunnel vision

Avoidance

Overcompensation

Self-esteem
inferiority ----- self-esteem ----- superiority

The goal of personality is to strive for superiority
- to be able to solve problems and deal with the everyday stuff...
- problems arise when people set unrealistic goals of achieving superiority over others
- and consider themselves failures when they do not achieve them

Goal of Mental Health
- to be connected
- to develop oneself fully
- to contribute to others

Personality Disorders :
[ Eccentric ]

Paranoid (extreme disgust without reason)

over - mistrust, vigilance, suspiciousness
under - trust, serenity, acceptance

Schizoid (without personality; cold)

over - autonomy, independence, isolation
under - intimacy, reciprocity

Schizotypical (both of the above, and hallucinations)

cognitive distortions eg. feel they are responsible for some events like floods
feel they are odd / defective
may have "magical" thoughts, "sixth sense", odd beliefs, bizarre fantasies

[ Dramatic ]

Anti-social (see exploiting people as right)

over - combatness, tendency to exploit
under - empathy, social sensitivity

Borderline (abusive)

over - negative schemas
under - positive schemas
see themselves as useless and bad
display extreme behavior for attention
marked reactivity in mood
impulsivity in self-damaging behaviors

Histrionic (want to be center of attention)

over - exhibitionism, expressionism, impressionism
under - control, reflectiveness
feel a need to impress others
have a strong fear of rejection

Narcissistic (grandiose sense of self-importance)

over - self-importance, competitiveness
under - sharing, group-participation
interpersonally exploitive
arrogant attitudes
believe they are on a higher level than others, that others are inferior

[ Fearful ]

Avoidant (avoid activities for fear of ...)

over - vulnerability, avoidance, inhibition
under - assertion, ability to be outgoing
avoid activities with interpersonal contact
view themselves as inferior
opposite to Histrionic

Dependent

over - tendency to be clinging and help-seeking
under - self-sufficiency, mobility
have difficulties making everyday decisions
lacks self-confidence
constant fear of being left to take care of themselves

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

over - control, responsibility
under - spontaneity, playfulness
pervasive preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, mental and personal control
excessive care on details
rigid and stubborn

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (O.C.D.)

preoccupied with details, rules, order of schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost
their perfectionism interferes with task-completion
overly conscientious, scrupulous and inflexible

According to the O.C.D. Schema

mistakes are bad
they know what's best in all situations
perfectionism, applying rules, exerting control
see themselves : responsible, accountable, competent
see others : irresponsible, casual, incompetent, self-indulgent
all-or-nothing -- perfect-or-not

Obsessive-compulsive patients may compensate by doing something that is fun, or at least something they perceive as fun

AXIS I : temporary problems
AXIS II : deep-rooted problems --> personality

Personality tests online

www.zh.com
http://keirsey.com
www.scientology.org/oca.html
www.looksmart.com
www.queendom.com
www.colorquiz.com
www.quincyweb.net

Changing our behavior

You can't have two competing feelings at the same time eg you can't be anxious and relaxed at the same time
Visualization
Quiet activities eg reading, listening to music
Exercise

Success Is Not An Accident

2007-07-07T14:14:00.000+08:00

by Tommy Newberry

Bill of Responsibilities
1. You have the responsibility to ask only for opportunity.
2. You have the responsibility to seek and find your true place in life.
3. You have the responsibility to write down compelling goals for your life.
4. You have the responsibility to invest the minutes and hours of your life wisely.
5. You have the responsibility to visualise the attainment of your goals in rich, vivid details.
6. You have the responsibility to talk yourself into success.
7. You have the responsibility to choose a high-energy lifestyle.
8. You have the responsibility to develop yourself and every area of your life to its maximum.
9. You have the responsibility to provide more values and contribution if you desire more rewards.
10. You have the responsibility to persist until you succeed.

Lesson 1 - Choose Success
Goal-Setting

Controllable : Make your definition within your control, not based on outside circumstances or other people.
Measurable : Make your definition quantifiable so that you can hold yourself accountable.
Perpetual : Formulate your definition so that you can satisfy your definition on a daily basis.
Personal : Choose your own definition, not a borrowed one.
Principal-Based : Establish your definition on absolute truths, not on subjective, timely or situational values.

Assignment -

Write out your personal definitions of success and failure.
Write down things in your life you can control. And another list of those you can't.
Write out 20 of your positive characteristics.
Write out 20 of your past accomplishments.
Write out 20 of your greatest blessings.
Write out 20 blessings you expect to be grateful for 9 years from now.
Describe your ideal day in detail.

Lesson 2 - Choose Who You Want to Become
The Personal Mission Statement Worksheet

What are three qualities you would most like to see associated with your reputation?
What three activities do you find most enjoyable?
What three activities are most important to you?
What three things would you like to change about your life if you had no restrictions or limitations?
What six things do you want in life more than anything else?
Who are the three people you admire most, and why?
Of the people you admire most, which one quality do they all have in common?
What would you be willing to die for if you had to?
Why do you go to work?
What are your four most important roles in life (friend, salesperson, entrepreneur, student, uncle, husband, mother etc.) ?
What qualities would you like to be known for in each of these roles?
What evidence would prove you have those qualities?
What would you like people to remember about you when you die?

The Personal Statement Outline

In 25 words or less, you statement of purpose : My mission is to ...
Role A
- Qualities / Description in brief
- Evidence, Actions, Responsibilities in brief
Role B
- Qualities / Description in brief
- Evidence, Actions, Responsibilities in brief
Role C
- Qualities / Description in brief
- Evidence, Actions, Responsibilities in brief
Role D
- Qualities / Description in brief
- Evidence, Actions, Responsibilities in brief
Summary and Conclusion : Your personal philosophy of life and success

Lesson 3 - Choose to Write Down Compelling Goals
Top 10 Reasons to Establish Written Goals for Your Life:

10. Written goals strengthen your character by promoting a long-term perspective.
9. Written goals allow you to lead your life as opposed to simply managing it.
8. Written goals provided internal, permanent, and consistent motivation.
7. Written goals help you stay focused -- to concentrate on what's most important.
6. Written goals enhance your decision-making ability.
5. Written goals simultaneously require and build self-confidence.
4. Written goals help you create the future in advance.
3. Written goals help you control changes -- to adjust your sails, to work with the wind, rather than against it.
2. Written goals heighten your awareness of opportunities that are consistent with your goals.
1. Written goals make YOU the person your want to become as a result.

--> They remind you of why you are doing what you're doing, why you're enduring hardship, why you're pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, and finally what you really want to become.

Why people don't set goals:

They have not accepted personal responsibility for their lives yet.
They fear criticism.
They don't know how.
They don't realise the importance of goals.
The Curse of Early Success.
They fear failure.
They fear success.

Effective Goals are:

written
stated in the present tense ( not future )
positive ( eg. not "I will not be lazy" )
consistent with your personal statement
specific and measurable
timebound ( to give yourself motivation and pressure )
reasonable, yet challenging ( high, but attainable )
planned thoroughly

The Goal Achievement Formula

Personal Mission Statement
( Who you want to become )

Long-Term Vision and Goals
( The 30-year ideal lifestyle )

3-year Goals
( The 3-year vision)

90-day Milestones

90-day Strategies

Weekly Master List

Daily "to-do's" | Daily Habits

Lesson 4 - Choose to Invest Your Time Wisely

Lesson 5 - Choose to Get Out of Your Own Way
7 Mental Principles

1. Cause and Effect
--- There is no luck.

2. Belief
--- Your beliefs produce life experiences, not the other way around.

3. Subconscious Activity
--- Your job is to convince the subconscious that the condition you desire already exists.

4. Substitution
--- Exert control over your thinking. Substitute

5. Mental Equivalency
Develop a clear mental picture of any goal you hope to achieve in advance.

6. Concentration
--- Focus on your positive experiences, blessings, goals, and all the people who love you, and you'll attract more.

7. Relaxation
--- Don't try too hard. Don't force things mentally -- your mind will freeze and stop working creatively.

Effective Self-talk using P.E.P.P.

> Positively Phrased

> Emotion Provoking

> Present Tense

> Personal

15 Practical Insights --

1. Always use the word "when" rather than "if" in situations where you are talking about something you want to happen.

2. Take control of your explanatory style, the way you interpret past events to yourself. Put a positive twist on things or "spin it" to your benefit, by looking back and reinterpreting any seemingly negative situation and mentally downplaying or minimizing its significance. This reduces the effect of the past on your future.

3. Watch out for media programming, the constant suggestive influence from radio, television, newspaper, magazine, and billboards. It's estimated that the average American is exposed to more than 1500 advertising messages a day. If you think like the masses think, you'll get what the masses get.

4. Never let anyone say anything to you or about you in your presence that you don't sincerely want to happen. Be alert whenever someone starts a sentence with "you" in daily conversations. Be especially careful about old friends who speak of you as the person you were, but no longer want to be.

5. In dealing with other people, particularly those you live or work with, never refer to someone or characterise someone in their presence as something you don't want them to be, or else you'll just be reinforcing their negative tendency to be that way. Omit things like "You're ALWAYS late!".

6. Whenever you catch yourself thinking something negative or self-defeating, stop in your tracks. Say "cancel", "next", "deflect" or anything which works for you if need be.

7. Be always doing what you say, you strengthen your character and literally program yourself to create the reality dictated by your words. Walk your talk. Talk you walk.

8. Refuse to claim things or stake possession to anything that you don't want in your lifestyle eg. my cold, my headache. Attach it to things like my prosperity, my perfect health etc.

9. No matter how common it may, refuse to get cornered into conversations involving skepticism, cynicism, doubt, worry or gossip. Self-talk is quite contagious. Only talk about yourself and things you want to happen.

10. Most people routinely say things to themselves r about themselves that they would never, ever say to a respected friend. Refuse to acknowledge or give air time to any thoughts that are in opposition to who you really want to be. Be a respecting and nourishing friend to yourself.

11. Leave the past in the past. If it becomes necessary to talk about a habit, tendency or quality that you'll rather not have, always talk about it as if it's long gone, as if it's history rather than an ongoing problem.

12. Choose the words of champions. Replace "I'll try to" to "I will". Replace "I didn't have time" with "I chose not to make time for it"

13. Watch out for others who transplant their past experiences to you, often lowering your expectations and, in effect, causing you to clinch up, preparing for the worst. Learn from others' experience, but always assume it's going to be a lot better for you.

14. Every cell in your body "listens in" to your thinking and interprets each thought as a command. If you want to know what your self-talk was like three years ago, just look at yourself and your life today. What the mind harbours, the body expresses.

15. Putting into practice even just a few suggestions from this lesson will generate a visible and measurable improvement in your life. Don't worry about mistakes, tripping up a little or falling back. Shrug it off and stay focused on doing better tomorrow. Remember, it is at the very moment that you think your self-talk is not working that you NEED to use it the most. Fill up every empty moment with a thought of the person you want to be.

Lesson 6 - Choose Positive Visualisation

Relaxation - the relaxed state of mind increases concentration and focus.
Frequency - review, review, review!
Clarity - the more skilled you become at precisely duplicating in your head what you want to see in your life, the more rapidly your goals will appear.
Duration - Refuse to let fear, worry, distractions, or any other types of resistance cut short the length of each act of visualisation.
Emotion - Mentally celebrate in advance by pretending your goal has already been accomplished.
Perspective - 1st person? 2nd person? 3rd person?
Scripting - writing forces you to crystallize your thinking.

Lesson 7 - Choose a High-Energy Lifestyle

Set a goal for how long you want to live
- Write down everything you can do to help you live to at least age 80
- Write down all the negative habits that you may be tempted to engage in that would hurt your chances of reaching 80
- Take steps to eliminate those bad habits gradually
- Begin by introducing the positive health habits to your life
Maintain a positive attitude
- You become positive by deciding in advance that you will always choose the most resourceful response to any set of circumstances.
Control stress
- We experience stress when we realise we are living far below our potential. Remember it is the way you think about something that makes it successful. Stress does not exist to the degree to which you allow it to.
Exercise intelligently
- Improves sleep
- Relieves stress
- Burns fat
- Suppresses appetite
- Enhances attitude
- Stabilises chemical balance
- Fortifies immune system
- Heightens self-esteem
Eat for energy
- Plan your meals
- Eat low-fat to very low-fat food
- Eat frequently small meals and light snacks
- Work in five or more servings of fresh fruit and vegetables
- Limit the white poisons : sugar, salt, bleached flour
- Drink lots of water
- Supplement your diet with an all-natural, high-quality vitamin and mineral formula
Sleep for success
- Arise at the same time every day
- Eat for deep sleep
- Reserve the bedroom for sleep (and .. )
- Develop a calming bedtime routine
- Make tomorrow's "to-do" list early
- Hide the clock! (Why stress yourself that "it's late" etc?)
- Set the thermostat
Take time for rejuvenation
- Take frequent 5-minute stress breaks
- Don't work for one day every week
- Take a 4-day vacation every quarter
- Take two weeks of vacation annually
- Declutter your home, car, office - everywhere
- Get a massage
- Recultivate simple pleasures

Thought Stimulantors

Travel

Where would you like to travel?
What famous hotels would you like to stay in?
What famous restaurants would you like to stay in?
Where would you take an ideal 30-day vacation?
What is your favourite climate?
What cultures do you like to experience?
What different foods would you like to taste?

Toys
What luxuries would you want to be surrounded with?
What stores would you like to most to have a $5000 gift voucher?
What "toys" would you want to own?
What would you want to see in your wardrobe?

Finances
What would you like your net worth to be when you're 50? 60? 70? 80?
How much money would you like to donate to charity in your lifetime?
What types of investments would you like to be able to make?
How much money would you like to save for retirement?
How much money would you like to spend on vacations?

Home
Where would you like to have a second or third home?
Describe your ideal master suite.
What style of home do you like? What type of decor?
What other amenities would be part of your dream home?
How many children would you like to have?

Learning
What foreign languages would you like to learn?
What types of lessons would you like to take?
How many books do you plan to read in the next 50 years?
What books would you like to read?
What knowledge would you want to have?
Would you like to be known as wise?
What unique experiences would you like to have?
What skills would you want to master?

Health and Fitness
What changes would you like to see in your physical body?
What food give you the most energy?
What sort of diet would help you achieve more?
What minor discomforts etc would you like to be free from?
What are your favourite types of exercise?

Relationships
How would you like the most important people in your life to respond to you?
Describe your ideal mate.
How would you like your family to describe you?
What would be a dream getaway for you and your spouse?

Social
What important people would you like to meet?
What sort of new relationships would you like to develop?
How would you like to be remembered?
How would you like your reputation to change in the next 5 years?

Career
What impact do you want to make on your profession?
What other types of career opportunities would you like to explore?
would you like to go into business for yourself?
Would you rather be working for someone else?
How could you create an income source from your hobbies or talents?

Adventures
How many weeks of vacation would you like to have each year?
Would you like to have an annual month-long holiday?
Would you like to attend the opening of a Broadway show?
What mountains would you like to climb?
What great sites would you like to photograph?

Community
What impact do you want to have in your community?
What role do you want to play in local, state, national, or world politics?
Would you like to teach a Junior Achievement class?

Personal Comfort
What "good lick" would you like to experience?
What emotions would you like to experience more often? How often?
How often would you like tlo get a massage?
What would your ideal weekend be like?
Would you like to simplify your life?
What could you eliminate from your life that would give you more inner peace?
Would you like a full-time maid? Chef?

Spiritual
How active would you like to be in your church?
Would you like to read the Bible from cover to cover?
hat will have to happen for you to experience peace of mind?
How often would you like to meditate?
Would a daily devotion at a fixed time each day halp you grow spiritually?

Personal Development
What character traits would you like to develop?
Would you like to write a book?
What would you like to be remembered for the most?
What contribution or talent do you have that would serve others, ultimately reaping rewards for yourself?
What do you want to, be, have, or become?

Why Teams Don't Work

2007-07-06T13:00:00.000+08:00

by Harvey Robbins & Michael Finley

-part one : broken dreams, broken teams-
1. The Team Idea -- everybody get together
Why Teams Are Good

Teams increase productivity
Teams improve communication
Teams do work that ordinary groups can't do
Teams make better use of resources (and ideas)
Teams are more creative and more efficient at solving problems
Teams mean higher-quality decisions
Teams mean better quality goods and services
Teams mean improved processes
Teams differentiate while they integrate

PROBLEM	SYMPTOM
Mismatched Needs	People with private agendas working at cross-purposes
Confused Goals, Cluttered Objectives	People don't know what they're supposed to do, or it makes no sense
Unresolved Roles	Team members are uncertain what their job is
Bad Decision Making	Teams may be making the right decisions, but in a wrong way
Bad Policies, Stupid Procedures	Team is at the mercy of an employee handbook from hell
Personality Conflicts	Team members do not get along
Bad Leadership	Leadership is tentative, inconsistent, or stupid
Bleary Vision	Leadership has foisted a bill of goods on the team
Anti-Team Culture	The organization is not really committed to the idea of teams
Insufficient Feedback and Information	Performance is not being measured; team members are groping in the dark
Ill-Conceived Reward Systems	People are being rewarded for the wrong things
Lack of Team Trust	The team is not a team because members are unable to commit to it
Unwillingness to Change	The team knows what to do but will not do it
The Wrong Tools	The team has been sent to do battle with a slingshot

2. Human Needs -- desperately seeking teaming
Things people seek from one another:

Affection
Affiliation
Acknowledgement and recognition
Exchange of ideas
Personal self-worth

3. Individual Needs vs Team Needs -- ulterior motives
People are not selfless people. It's generally a "me first" or "please consider my personal needs while we meet the team's" situation. Whatever the personal goals, we need to know what they are, and deal with them, or at least acknowledge them -- perhaps even make it corollary team goals.

4. Teamwork vs Socialwork -- what a team we should make
Socializing. Social work are sort of team goals because they involve the group, but they are not related to the business goals. Basically they are fun stuff, distractions. Sometimes the line between work and fun gets fuzzy. A survey years ago suggested that at least a quarter of the time is occupied by socialwork. The researchers also suggested that this mental break time is a necessary component to staying sane at work (relieving stress).

-part two : why teams come apart-

5. Misplaced Goals, Confused Objectives -- what are we doing here?
A good team goal :

a task -- what are you doing
mini-goals, short- (1 month), mid- (3) and long-term (6) goals
a promised limit of what you're doing -- when to stop
a promised level of performance -- budget?
a deadline -- when to finish
the definition of the customer, who all this effort is for

Distractions :

Interteam warfare -- failure of communication, disagreements, arguments
Team sadism -- impossible goals which hurt
The road to nowhere -- how do we move?

6. Unresolved Roles -- it ain't my job, man
The good and the bad tasks of the job

- bad / troublesome tasks - hot potatoes no one wants
- good / easy tasks - can result turf wars for that coveted task

7. Bad Decision Making -- how not to make up your mind

Type of decision making	Advantage	Disadvantage
Consensus Everybody contributes and comes to a compromise	produces an innovative, creative, high-quality decision; elicits commitment by all the members to implement the decision; uses the resources of all members; useful in making serious, important and complex decisions to which all members will be committed	takes a lot of time and psychological energy and a high level of member skill; time pressure must be minimal; there can be no emergency in progress.
Majority Democracy. Majority wins.	can be used when time is a constrain, or when the decision is not so important that consensus is necessary; close discussion on issues that are not highly important to the team	usually leaves an alienated minority, a time bomb for future effectiveness; important talents of the minority team may be snubbed; commitment for implementing the decision is only partially present; full benefit of team interaction does not happen
Minority Usually takes the form of a subcommittee of a larger team that investigates information and makes recommendations for action.	can be used when not everyone can get together to make a decision; when the team is in a time crunch and must delegate responsibility to a committee; when only a few members have relevant expertise or knowledge; when broader team commitment is not needed to implement the decision; useful for simple, routine decisions	does not utilize the talents of all team members; does not build broad commitment for implementing the decision; unresolved conflict and controversy may damage future team effectiveness; not much benefit from team interaction
Averaging The epitome of compromise. Team members haggle, bargain, cajole, and negotiate an international middle position. Usually no one is happy with the results, except for moderates on the team.	individual errors and extreme opinions tend to cancel each other out, making this a better method than "authority rule without discussion"	opinions of the least knowledgeable members may annul the opinions of the most knowledgeable members; little team involvement in decision making, so commitment to the decision will likely be weak; letting members with the greatest expertise make the decision is almost always better than a group average
Expert Find experts, listen to what they say, and follow their recommendations	useful when the expertise of one person is so far superior to all other team members that little is to gained by discussion; should be used when the need of membership action in implementing the decision is slight	how do you determine who the best expert is? no commitment is built for implementing the decision; advantages of team interaction are lost; resentment and disagreement may result may result in sabotage and deterioration of team effectiveness; knowledge and skills of other team members are not used
Authority Rule Without Discussion No room for discussion; like predetermined decisions handed down higher authority; trust is often killed with this method	applies more to administrative needs, useful for simple, routine decisions; should be used when very little time is available to make the decision; when team members expect the designated leader to make the decision; when team members lack the skills or information to make the decision anyway	one person cannot be a good resource for every decision; advantages of team interaction are lost; zero team commitment is developed for implementing the decision; resentment and disagreement may result in sabotage and deterioration of team effectiveness; resources of other team members are not used
Authority Rule With Discussion Participative Decision Making. Open discussion where opinions are aired, after which they cut off the discussion, make the decision and get back to the team members.	gains commitment from all team members; develops a lively discussion on the issues using the skills and knowledge of all team members; is clear on who is ultimately responsible for the decision of the team	requires good communication on the part of team members; requires a leader willing to make decisions

8. The Wrong Policies and Procedures -- you can't get there from here
Policies and procedures are supposed to serve the team, not the other way round.
Throw away those outdated and irrelevant manuals.

9. The People Problem -- I'm not working for that jerk!
I know that you think you understand
what you thought I said.
But I am not sure that you heard
is what I meant.

Basic Personality Types
-----
Analytical
Key Value:
Work with existing circumstances to promote quality in products and services
Orientation: Thinking
Time: Past
Personality:
perfectionists; mostly right about issues because they gave the matter time, reflection and rational consideration; their strong suit is the facts; patient, which may sometimes paralyze instead.
Generally:
critical, indecisive, stuffy, picky, moralistic, industrious, persistent, serious, expecting, orderly

Driver
Key Value:
Shape the environment by overcoming opposition to get immediate results
Orientation: Action
Time: Present
Personality:
let-me-do-it people; firmly rooted in the present, they are lovers of action; their strength is the results; bitterly self-critical, and resentful of idle chit-chat
Generally:
pushy, severe, tough, dominating, harsh, strong-willed, independent, practical, decisive, efficient

Amiable
Key Value:
Cooperative with others, make sure people are included and feel good about the process
Orientation: Relationships
Time: Depends on who they are with at the time
Personality:
"warm fuzzies", the people people; their greatest strength is their understanding of relationships.
Generally:
conforming, unsure, ingratiating, dependent, awkward, supportive, respectful, willing, dependable, agreeable

Expressive
Key Value:
Shape the environment by bringing others into alliance to generate enthusiasm for the results
Orientation: Intuition
Time: Future
Personality:
big-picture people; intuitive and creative
Generally:
manipulating, excitable, undisciplined, reacting, egoistical, ambitious, stimulating, wacky, enthusiastic, dramatic, friendly

Communicating with :

Analyticals

prepare your case in advance
take your time, but be persistent
support their principles
cover all bases
draw up a scheduled approach for any action plan
be clear
avoid emotional arguments
follow through your promises

Amiables

break the ice -- it shows your commitment to the task and to them
show respect. don't patronize
listen and be responsive
be non-threatening, casual, informal
ask "how" questions to draw out their opinions
define what you want them to contribute to the task
assure and guarantee that the decision at hand will in no way risk, harm or threaten them. but don't make assurances you cannot back up.

Drivers

be brief and to the point. think "efficiency"
stick to business. skip the chit-chat. close loopholes. dispel ambiguities. Digress at your own peril. Speculate and you're history.
be prepared.. know the requirements and objectives of the task at hand
organise your arguments into a neat "package". present facts cleanly and strongly
be courteous, not chummy. don't be bossy
ask specific questions
if you disagree, disagree with the facts, not the person
if you agree, support both the results and and the person
persuade by citing objectives and results
don't waste his time

Expressives

meet their social needs while talking shop. entertain, stimulate, be lively
talk about their goals as well as the team's
be open -- strong and silent does not cut with expressives
take time. they are most efficient when they are not in a hurry
ask for their opinions and ideas
keep your eye on the big picture, not the technical details
support your points with examples involving people they know and respect
offer special deals, extras, and incentives
show honest respect -- you must not talk down to an expressive

-part three : what keeps teams from working-

10. Leadership Failure -- who's in charge here, anyway?
Myths of team leadership

[X] Teams require a single individual to lead them
There are various models of team leadership. Leadership can rotate by the clock, or by the task at hand
[X] Strong leadership ensures success
A fundamentally bad team with incompetent or uninterested members cannot be led
[X] How a leader is selected is not important
Leaders must be selected in a way that is consonant with the task a team is assigned to
[X] Team success is all that matters
Well... if the task is wrong, duplicative, wasteful or pointless...
[X] Team structure is a secondary consideration
Perfect leadership and followship combined will still come to nothing unless the team is the right type of team for the task
[X] A good leader and a good team can solve any task
Not every task is appropriate for teams.

Leadership problems

Stupid, stubborn leaders
Ignorant leaders
overtrained leaders
overtalented leaders
leaders who are too kind, overprotective
leaders who are closed to new ideas
leaders with inappropriate styles
leaders who put themselves ahead of the team
leaders who don't really know the team
inconsistent leaders
leaders who can't be followers
leaders who refuse to acknowledge team members
leadership that plays favourites
leaders who do not allow failures
leaders who protect and blame
unethical leaders
leaders who are remote
leaders who fail to model team behavior
leaders who are oblivious to team members' career needs
leaders who are unwilling to fight for the team
leaders who are unwilling to take risks
leaders who cannot permit conflict
leaders who do not value diversity
leaders who are passive

What team leaders do

Project energy
Are involved, involving, and empowering of others
Assist evolution and change
Persuade and persevere
look beyond the obvious
Maintain perspective
Pyramid learning
Target energy on success opportunities
foster task linkage with others
Influence cooperative action
Support creativity
Take initiative
Eschew the negative
Are never satisfied

11. Faulty Vision -- if you don't know where you're going.. you'll probably get there
Pitfalls in communicating the vision to others

Assigning
Too often, leaders seek to assign the vision. This s what they say. Here are descriptions. Memorize and replicate.
Dullness
Members must be able to feel the passion of the leader
Waffling
Leaders cannot learn the vision as they preach it. If it's the sort of moving, evolving target, everyone will miss it.
Selling
Don't just play the role of a consultant and try to sell them the vision
Nonaligning
The proper way to spread a vision is to work with people as individuals to bring their wants and needs into alignment with the team vision. Treat everyone equally. You cannot own it own; they must come to own the idea.. on their own

12. Toxic Teaming Atmosphere -- organizational karma

Teams VS Mobs

Teams	Mobs
Members recognize their independence and understand both personal and team goals are best accomplished with mutual support. Time is not wasted struggling over turf or attempting personal gain at the expense of others.	Members think they are grouped together for administrative purposes only. Individuals work independently; sometimes at cross purposes with others.
Members feel a sense of ownership for their jobs and unit because they are committed to goals they helped establish	Members tend to focus on themselves because they are not sufficiently involved in planning the unit's objectives. They approach their job simply as a hired hand.
Members contribute to the organization's success by applying their unique talent and knowledge to team objectives	Members are told what to do rather than being asked what the best approach would be. Suggestions are not encouraged.
Members work in a climate of trust and are encouraged to openly express ideas, opinions, disagreements and feelings. Questions are welcomed.	Members distrust the motives of colleagues because they do not understand the role of other members. Expressions of opinion or disagreement are considered divisive or non-supportive.
Members practice open and honest communication. They make an effort to understand each other's point of view.	Members are so cautious about what they say that real understanding is not possible. Game-playing may occur and communications traps may be set to catch the unwary.
Members are encouraged to develop skills and apply what they learn on the job. They receive the support of the team.	Members may receive good training but are limited in applying it to the job by the supervisor or other group members.
Members recognize conflict as a normal aspect of human interaction but they view such situations as an opportunity for new ideas and creativity. They work to confront and resolve conflict quickly and constructively.	Members find themselves in conflict situations which they do not know how to resolve. They do not differentiate confrontation and conflict. Their supervisor or "team leader" may put off intervention until serious damage is done.
Members participate in decisions affecting the team, but understand their leader must take a final ruling whenever the team cannot decide, or an emergency exists. Positive results, not conformity, is the goal.	Members may or may not participate in decisions affecting the team. Conformity often appears more important than results.

13. Communication Shortfalls -- how'm I doing?
Listen.

There are many sources of contamination in ordinary speech where we are unconsciously working to express:

our importance
our superior knowledge
our political convictions
our prejudices, which we hope others share
our disdain for the thoughts to a perceived adversary
our insecurity about what others think of us
our lack of stature in the group
our unfamiliarity with the topic at hand
our worry that someone is waiting to shoot us down

-- With so much running through our minds, can we really listen to what people are saying? Or are you just taking turns to speak, having a dual-monologue?

14. Rewards and Recognition -- saying one thing and doing another
The importance of security

It means that a company professing to be serious about quality must not punish team members who undertake initiatives on behalf of quality. Team members exhorted to use their mind must feel free, even encouraged, to disagree with one another and with the management as a whole.

- who decides who is rewarded?

Who should decide on who gets rewarded? People on the team have the best knowledge of the value of one another's work. But members must not be put in the position of politicking one another for promotions and raises. Best to have evaluation occur from outside the team, with some evaluative information supplied from within.

- what behaviors are rewarded?

Bonuses are established to motivate people. But bonuses do not motivate when they are automatic or guaranteed. Are the rewards for individual performance? Or organizational performance? Rewards must be for achievements that matter, not noncontributing, non-value-adding activities.

- what rewards do the team and team members value?

[ Cash Considerations ]	Problems
Gainsharinga system where money or resources that are saved by the team are returned, in some degree, to the team	It's hard to measure the success of most kinds of individual teams in dollars. Easiest gainsharing plan to set up is a companywide or locationwide system.
Profit sharing Every year or quarter, a dividend is paid to employees based on cooperate or divisionwide performance.	Profit sharing is individual-orientated and organizationwide. It does not address team performance. Also, deferred rewards like retirement money never quite feels like rewards.
Employee Ownership Stock options, stock purchase plans, employee stock ownership plans etc	Ownership is great, but some companies are not worth owning, even with terrific workforces. Again, this approach does not do much for teams.

[ Reengineered Rewards ]

Companies getting rid of unnecessary management levels will probably not want to promote their workers. This can however be compensated by raises.

[ Team-defined Rewards ]

Establish a prize
Quarterly awards that team members vote on, like "best team spirit", "most valuable team member", "biggest improvement" etc.
Get them involved
People having impact on reaching goals appreciate being part of forming those goals. Bring your best people into the planning process and they'll walk through fire for you.
Power to the people
Give proven achievers authority to spend a few bucks to increase sales, please customers, or improve critical processes.
Not rich, but famous
Establish a "Hall of Fame" in your unit or department -- a gallery of pictures, trophies, and plaques, with an emphasis on winning teams as well as individuals.
Praise in print
Internal newsletters and publications are wonderful grounds for such public praise.
If they had a hammer
Everyone's dying for a faster computer, car-phone, or fax-line. See that your top producers have access to your best tools.
Meet the boss
Meeting the Group VP or even the CEO is a big deal, and shows that you care about your people's career tracks.
Share the spotlight
A pat on the back means more when it's up in front of co-workers. But be careful your reward ceremonies don't divide workers into winners and losers, or overstress individual achievement.
Privy privies
Everyone likes occasional "perks"
Free lunch
Many companies purchase annual tickets to sport events, concerts, and other events. Why not share them with the people who make your unit a success?
Stock options
As above (cash compensation). A stake in the company binds members closer to the company.
Lavish them with attention
Show that you care. The little things...
Show them you care
Let performers know that their contributions are appreciated by you, personally.

15. Depleted Trust -- why should i trust you?
Nine strategies for creating trust

~i. Have clear, consistent goals
When team members do not know what they are supposed to do, or where the team is heading, their tendency is to be guarded and defensive for their own self-interest and survival. They will find it difficult to buy in to the team's purpose and commit to other team members when they feel left adrift and uncertain.

~ii. Be open, fair, and willing to listen
It is important to include the word "fair" in discussions

~iii. Be decisive -- and how
When it comes to building trust, even a bad decision is better than no decision

~iv. Support all other team members
Loyalty is a linchpin of building team trust. A team is a family. You protect your team members from being victims of non-team abuse. You do not broadcast your dirty laundry to others.

~v. Take responsibility for team actions
Take personal responsibility for the team as a whole. This is true whether you are the team leader or not. Blaming convolutes the team process. Who will speak freely, offer ideas freely, and provide honest critiques knowing someone on the team is going to come down on them with a sledgehammer?

~vi. Give credit to team members
"Nothing is ever yours until you give it away" - Albert Einstein

~vii. Be sensitive to the needs of team members
The best way to build up a strong trust bank account is by showing awareness of and sensitivity to the needs of other team members.

~viii. Respect the opinion of others
People are different fundamentally. They can conceive of ideas you have never thought possible, or things which may seem crazy to you.

~ix. Empower team members to act
Trust gives results i trust, support, and loyalty in return.

16. Change Issues -- who's rocking the boat?

People feel awkward, ill-at-ease, and self-conscious.
People will think first about what they must give up.
People will feel alone.
People can handle only so much change
People have different readiness levels for change
People will fret that they do not have enough resources
If you take the pressure off, people will revert to their old behaviors

Rules for change

Plan for change
Involve others in the change process / get stakeholder agreement and commitment
Communicate!!
Generate expectations of outcomes
Create influence / support networks
Obtain adequate resources
Generate critical mass to create and maintain impetus / momentum
Follow through and follow up
Persist and stand ready to pay the price for change -- mistakes
Reinforce early and often
Keep processes and techniques simple
Lead the way

-part four : team myths-

17. The Myth of Adventure Learning -- belay that!
Adventure Learning like mountaineering or web-climbing are not really about teaming. They are not designed to improve teamwork, but rather to explore various dimensions of personal development.

18. The Myth of Personality Type -- it's what's outside that counts!
Differences in personality simply make the team more diversified. But what the team members really care about is what you do, in real terms, as seen by other teammates.

19. The Myth That Helping Like Working Together -- heigh ho!
People do need personal space. People must be able to access one another simultaneously, but they are mostly reluctant to lose their personal identity and privacy.

20. The Myth that Teamwork Is More Productive than Individual Work -- the team! the team!
The truth is that teams are inherently inferior to individuals, in terms of efficiency. If a single person has sufficient information to complete a task, he will run rings around a team assigned to the same task. No hand offs. No personality conflicts.

21. The Myth of "The More, The Merrier" on Teams -- let's do "the wave"
Teams may seem larger than they are because of adjuncts and resource personnel. These include:

core members - the actual team
resource team member - like the darting seagull, it drops its load and departs
support people - people who help the core team get stuff done
team sponsor - a manager the team can run to when it need protection or direction
team champion - the person who created the team
facilitators - outside people who help keep the team on track

-part five : turning teams around-

22. Moving Teams Through Stages Toward Success -- the teaming goes round and round
All teams have to pass through 4 stages in order to be successful.

- Forming : when a group is just learning to deal with one another; time in which minimal work gets accomplished.

Why was I asked to participate on this team?
Whose idea was the formation of this team?
Why were we formed?
Who are the other members, and what are their strengths?
How am I going to find out what they are good at, and also let them know my capabilities and characteristics?
How large should the team be in order to accomplish the team goals quickly?
Should team membership be voluntary or mandatory?
How and when are we going to bring needed resources onto the team and get rid of them when they are no longer needed?

- Storming : A time of stressful negotiation of the team under which the team will work together; a trial by fire.

What are we supposed to accomplish as a team?
What are each of our roles and responsibilities as they relate to accomplishing the goal?
Who do each of us need to get information from, and to whom does our information have to go in order to complete our goal? Where are our linkages to the outside world?
If we get into trouble, who can we get to rescue us? Who will accept the responsibility of sponsoring this group and its activities?
Who's in charge? Will that change day to day, from one phase of the project to the next? How do we adapt to changing leadership?
How will we arrive at decisions? When will we know we have done that?
What happens when we fight? How do we resolve disagreements over goals or procedures?
How do we increase our ability to take risks till we get to the most direct, most creative level?
What strengths do each of us bring to bear on accomplishing our goal? How can we focus out strengths to influence activities outside our own team?
When will we meet, and how (large groups, small groups, one-to-one)?
How are we going to make ourselves more accessible to one another in order to complete our goals in a timely manner?
Where (or who) are the team's supports? Where (or who) are our detractors and stumbling blocks?

- Norming : A time in which roles are accepted, team feeling develops, and information is freely shared.

- Performing : When optimal levels are finally realized -- in productivity, quality, decision-making, allocation of resources, and interpersonal interdependence.

23. Teams and Technology -- the 24-hour transworld team
Does technology work?

Does your team run the computer system, or does the computer system run your team?
Is the team really more productive, or do they just look busy?
Are security concerns undoing the benefits of your network?
Are teams properly trained, or are they put out there to sink or swim?
Are team suggestions welcome, invited and rewarded?
Is improved communications messing people up?
Has freedom led to chaos?
Is your PC system a substitute for real change?

24. Long-Term Team Health -- the well-tuned first-string team

Problem	Where We Were a Year Ago (Scale 1-7)	Where We Are Right Now (Scale 1-7)	Where We Want to be a Year from Now (Scale 1-7)	Action Plan Notes : What We will Do to Get There
Mismatched Needs
Confused Goals, Cluttered Objectives
Unresolved Roles
Bad Policies, Stupid Procedures
Bad Decision Making
Personality Conflicts
Bad Leadership
Bleary Vision
Anti-Team Culture
Communication Shortfalls
Ill-Conceived Reward System
Lack of Team Trust
Unwillingness to Change
The Wrong Tools

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

2007-07-05T12:53:00.000+08:00

by Stephen Covey

Personal Bank Account

Make and keep promises to yourself
- Decide to do something, and do it!
Do random acts of service
- Do a kind anonymous deed
Tap into your talents
- Develop a talent
- plan specific steps
- list other talents you admire in others
Be gentle with yourself
- Recognise areas of your life you feel inferior in, and tell yourself, " It's not the end of the world".
Renew yourself
- Do a fun activity
- exercise
Be honest

Habit 1 - Be Proactive
1. Recognise your circle of control and circle of no control.
- Focus on what we can control: Ourselves! And our attitudes!

2. Stop and think! In this situation, are you

Proactive or reactive?
In control of yourself?

- Don't get angry
- Check how many times you use reactive language
- Do something out of your comfort zone
- Remind yourself not to let others affect your mood
- Find excitement instead of waiting for it
- Ignore things you have no control over
- What is your most unhealthy habit?

Habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind
1. Mission Statement
2. Goals

Count the cost
Write it down, and be specific
Just do it
Use momentum and power
Rope up - find people with similar goals

- Determine 3 skills you'll definitely need to succeed
- Review your Mission Statement every 30 days.
- Be the someone you'll like to be.
- Identify the crossroads in your life

Habit 3 - Put First Things First
Time Management

Activities...	URGENT	NOT URGENT
IMPORTANT	Quadrant 1	Quadrant 2
NOT IMPORTANT	Quadrant 3	Quadrant 4

Most people spend the bulk of their time at Quadrant 1 activities, and suffer from stress and burnout. And then move to Quadrant 4 for relaxation. Quadrant 2 activities are the activities we should be focusing at, as these will decrease the number of Quadrant 1 emergencies.

"Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good,
We often might win,
By fearing to attempt!"- Shakespeare, Measure By Measure

- Use the planner
- Identify your greatest time-wasters
- Are you a pleaser? Have the courage to say 'no'
- Do not procrastinate - do it a little at a time
- Identify a fear that is holding you back.. Fear of failure? Success? Criticism? The unknown?
- Ask yourself "Who are the people who influence me the most?"

Habit 4 - Think Win-win
Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Habit 6 - Synergise
Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw

How to Persuade People Who Don't Want to be Persuaded

2007-07-04T12:48:00.000+08:00

by Joel Bauder & Mark Levy

Draw in the Listener
You will not have to sing, dance, act, recite, get up in front of crowds, or wrestle in mud, unless you want to. When I talk about entertainment as a persuader, I mean that you will use compelling, often whimsical strategies designed to put people in a receptive mood for what you have to offer.

And keep in mind, entertainment isn't necessarily light-hearted. A drama is entertaining, So is a horror film. In the work we'll be doing together, you'll be using the full range of human emotion to make your point forcefully...

Change in the Moment
What you do can have a remarkable effect on people. Don't believe me? Try this: Ask a friend to think about the best summer day she's ever experienced, then watch her closely. You'll witness a striking change in her physiogamy and demeanor.

She may look about dreamily, as if she's trying to orient her mental image in physical space. Her eyes may widen while her jaw slackens. She'll speak slowly, and then, as she catches hold of a visceral memory, she'll ramp up and tell you about a childhood trip to the carnival or a long kiss on a park bench.

By the time she's finished, she'll be grinning and feeling as though she's found something she'd lost. She may even be teary eyed. And all you did was ask a question. You changed her thoughts, her posture and her outlook with a question. One question! That's power.

You didn't wrestle her into a happy state. You set the proper conditions and let her mind do the rest. You changed her moment.

Most people walk around in their problems. They view life through their perceived limitations. They measure today by what happened yesterday.

When you change the moment, you shift people's perspective, taking them from where they are to where they'll like to be. From that vantage point, people will be more attentive and receptive to your propositions...

"Overall, the factors most highly associated with getting [the executives'] attention, in rank order were:

1. The message was personalised
2. It evoked an emotional response
3. It came from a trustworthy or respected sender
4. It was concise

The messages that both evoked emotion and were personalised were more than twice as likely to be attended to as the messages without those attributes.

- Harvard Business Review (Sep - Oct 2000)

The Transformation Mechanism
Change abstract ideas into mental images that people can see. Or things you can show them. Eg. Comparing your shoe to a project you're heading - the stitching, the laces, the heels etc.. Show them.

Create an entertainment inventory

What tasks do you do during a workday?
What are your hobbies?
What skills do you have?
What tricks and puzzles do you know?
What is the quirkiest thing you know how to do?
If you were in a talent show, what would your act be?

The Body Metaphor

The Paper Metaphor

The Quick Pitch Opening
Build your own opening.

Eg. "I'm a cyber-defender. I enable families, friends, and businesses to communicate on the Internet in a way that makes criminal third parties incapable of overhearing their sensitive information." (Security Programmer)

Who are your clients?
Why do your clients hire you or purchase your product?
What processes do you use to generate results for your clients?
How might your clients' clients be affected by your job?
Who are your competitors, and how are you better?
Have you won any awards, been cited in the media, or garnered praise from a recognised source?
How do you guarantee your work?
What are your business success stories?
Can you create metaphor or simile around you, our business, or your process?

The Quick Pitch Body
Conversational Keys

Listen deeply.
When you start a conversation, assume that you have something to give the other person and that person has something to give you.
Listen actively - rephrase what he says, with analysis.
Rephrase your questions - tie your questions to her past experiences.

The Slogan Pitch
A slogan can be:

a feature
a benefit
a question
a challenge
a structure

And it can be:

exciting - "if you love what you've seen, that's only 5% of what it can do!"
boastful - "You won't have competition because you will have annihilated them."
self-referential - "We're an American institution with international penetration."
tongue-in-cheek - "I hate to destroy thousands of jobs, but we're just that good."
inspiring - "One vision! One solution!"
painful - "You walk away, and tomorrow will be no different from today."

Convince with Samples
Samples serve 2 functions:

1. They show prospects that the business's products do what the business claims to do.
2. They let prospects test the products to make sure the products fit what the prospect wanted.

Things to think about when it comes to creating a sample of your offering.

1. Ask yourself, "What process do I want to demonstrate to the people I'm trying to influence?" and "What results do I want to show them?"
2. Make a piece of your process or result into a sample.
3. Customise your sample.

The Power of Free

Who am I trying to influence?
What am I trying to influence them about?
Do I have any relevant information that I can give them freely, that they'll find valuable?
Do I have any relevant physical items I can give them freely, that they'll find valuable?
What can I say or do that would get them to fully appreciate the value of the information or item?
When's the best time to give them the information or items to help my case?

Eg. Some Ring-in-a-Spring trick toy.

In one approach, you can call it "a gift" and say nothing more.

In another, you cam say, "I am giving you a gift you can use for the rest of your life. It's a gift that will make you the star of every family get-together, that will make you the center of attention at your next boardroom meeting. It's a device that is as easy to operate as it is potent, and will put a smile on people's faces, as it gets their minds racing. Ladies and gentlemen, don't you dare leave! Not until I teach you the secret of "The Ring on Spring"!"

Not only do people want freebies, they want it now. Try to give the people their gifts immediately. Our society demands instant gratification. Criticise that fact, or use it to your advantage.

The Power of Gifts
Important thing is you should not expect anything in return. You're giving as a way of celebrating friendship and life. If people want to give you something in return, let them. But don't make them feel obliged. If you do, it's not a gift anymore - it's a transaction.

Solid Proof

Client Lists
Client Testimonials
Celebrity Endorsements
Association and Organisation Memberships
Expert Opinion
Survey Results
The Real Reason Why
Specificity
Case Studies
Photographs
Guarantees
Props

While you should collect abundant proof substantiating your claims, be selective.

Give the prospect what he's concerned about.

Dynamic Clarity
"I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want." - Mark Twain

How do you get clear of what you want?

In the book "Dreams into Action", author and acting teacher Milton Katselas says:

It's hard to face specifics, but you must. Define everything, no matter how small it seems. Write down every detail... If you're an actor and want a TV series, what type?... Don't get into this vague idea about wanting to be a successful actor, a successful businessperson, a successful architect. That doesn't cut in... Know what you want. Make it real.

What projects do you want to take on?
Who do you want to work with?
Where do you want to work?

Remember though, the "why" you want is not important. When it comes to things you're passionate for, knowing why isn't going to do you any good.

Be Distinct
Pick a position. Having a focused position gives us better chance of being noticed and remembered.

Some slants to position yourself by:

by feature
by benefit

Get clear about who you're trying to persuade and about what you're trying to persuade them.
Find out what you audience most values when it comes to your offering.
Take an attribute from your offering, one that your audience would closely associate with what they value.
Make sure that no one else in your field is definitively associated with that attribute. It they are, find a way to alter that attribute so it's unique to you.
Push that attribute- that position - for all it's worth. Build your presentations, mechanisms, and marketing materials around it. Be single-minded.

Overcome Resistance
Straightforward Approach.

Get a list of common objections about the product you're selling.

They fall into two categories:

- One is about the product or service itself ("not enought functions", "too expensive", etc)

- Two is about the person's ability to deal with the product or service ("broke", "no room for that", etc)

Research the facts - give a rationale for each of the objections.

Eg. The product is 10% more expensive than other similar products because it has a 20% greater energy efficiency than others.

Side Approaches

Pretend you don't understand the objection - and ask the client to explain
Ask the client what he really wants to know
Refer to one of your clients who had the same objection
Make her objection into a joint objective
Make her objection the very reason to go ahead with the deal
Agree with the objection and reaffirm your main benefits
Get the client to see the consequences of not using your product or service

Additional tips:

When getting a lot of resistance, instead of overcoming them, it's sometimes better to focus on strengthening your presentations. Ask them what they like best about your product. And clarify with them some benefits they have missed out on.
Attitude is very important. When you walk in to make a deal, you should be thinking that you're a gift to them. That you'll improve their businesses. That they'll be thankful that you came at the end of the day. You are not an expense, intrusion or liability. Sell yourslf on yourself. Convince yourself that what you're offering is worth far more than what you're asking for.

The Look

The Platform Pitch
The Build, Hold and Move steps.

The Mechanism Emergency Kit

Success For Dummies

2007-07-03T12:19:00.000+08:00

by Zig Ziglar

Qualities for success
Attitude

Acceptance, forgiveness, love, kindness, respect and consideration towards others
Accepting, open-minded attitude towards personal growth and education
The world changes constantly. Unless you change with it, you're destined for mediocrity at best, experiencing a fraction of the progress you are capable of experiencing
Be positive, yet cautiously realistic towards your own abilities and yourself

Right Skills

Character

Be happy
Be healthy
Be reasonably prosperous
Be secure
have friends
Have peace of mind
Have good relationships
Have hope

Leadership

Provide an environment in which people succeed
Have defined and reachable goals
Understand what your people's talents are
Make sure that everyone understands you, and the task you have set out for them. Leave no 'grey' areas
Commit time and effort for every project
Be a cheerleader
Understand that success is internal, not external
Believe in what is right, and stay true to your plans
Have goals for the individuals who work for you. Let them know your expectations.
Set the attitude for the entire building
Talk up positives. Recognise and correct the negatives, but don't dwell on them

Self

Gratitude - be thankful and appreciate people
Attitude - be optimistic, with facts to support
Magnitude - be able to recognise the importance of matters
Latitude - range
Multitude - focus on the opportunities instead of the challenges

Characteristics of successful people

Conviction : determination to work through obstacles
Commitment : readiness to spend time and effort
Hard work : willingness to sacrifice
Love for what you do : source of burning passion
Integrity : lead by example
Character : where trust is built upon
Discipline : will to follow plans
Consistency
Persistence
Heredity
Humour
Luck
Faith
Passion
Connections

Passion

Analyse what you want in life and come up with a plan for reaching those goals
Take steps towards your goals
Use your head to direct your heart

Interpersonal Relations

Have unshakable integrity, good attitude and a thorough knowledge of the skills
Smile and speak to people
Call people by name
Be friendly, helpful and encouraging
Speak and act as if everything you do is a pleasure
Be genuinely interested in others
Praise and hold back criticism
Be considerate
Be of service
Be humourous

Business Success

Be a superstar
Manage frustration
Treat everyone you meet as a VIP
Get along / make friends with your boss
->It is the impossible boss that made it possible for them to develop tolerance and growth, overcome obstacles, and attain their positions of success

Different types of personalities

Directive, dominant
Interactive, influencing
Supportive, stable
Competitive, cautious, competent

Self-evaluation

Q1: What have helped me to be successful so far?

Q2: What do I do that doesn't make me tired?

Q3: What works for me?

Q4: What do others say that I'm good at?

Q5: When am I operating at my optimum levels?

Self-motivation

Gain momentum through personal growth
Let activities motivate you -- not doing them just when you feel like doing
use humour
give and withdraw rewards
winning and losing are both motivators
motivation from completing tasks

Motivations

Desire for gain. e.g. wealth, power, honour, wisdom etc
Fear of loss of
- respect
- reputation
- status
- appreciation
- power and influence
- happiness
- joy
- peace
- love

Decisions

understand the process
know that where you stand influences where you sit
should be based on:
- principle and integrity
- others' advice, but not simply under influence
- facts
Prioritize your decisions
Form a plan of action
Review the plan truthfully
Perform your best with your decision

Good decisions

Fits your long term objective
May cause temporary "pain" and sacrifice
Must have their benefits and risks weighed
Must be consistent with your integrity
May sometimes be simply listening to your feelings
Are not made under stressed conditions
Should be discussed where needed
May not be welcomed ones
May not be the best ones, but should be the best at the point of making the decision

Remember that bad decisions can lead to good ones, and bad decisions are inevitable. Do not try to cover up bad decisions, thus prolonging the mistake. Admit the mistake bravely, and take steps to remedy the problem.

Questionnaire - 7 Types of Health

Physical Health

Appearance
Regular checkups
Energy level
Muscle tone
Weight control
Diet and nutrition
Stress control
Endurance and strength
Fitness program

Financial Health

Proper priorities
Personal budget
Impulse purchase
Earnings
Living within income
Charge accounts
Insurance
Investments
Financial statements

Career Health

Challenges
Happiness
Chance to grow
Career knowledge
Education
Goals program
Passion

Family Health

With
- Parents
- Siblings
- Spouse
- Children
- Extended family
Time with family
Enjoy time
Priority

Personal Health

Recreation
Friendship
Community Involvement
Hobbies
Quiet time
Growth time
Consistent lifestyle

Mental Health

Motivation of material
Uplifting company
Positive outlook
Happiness
Stable mood
Contentment
Interest
Passion

Spiritual Health

Religion
Worship
Sharing faith
Prayer
Religious family
Inner peace

Goals and Goal-setting
"If I were absolutely certain that I wouldn't fail, and if I had all the resources necessary to get there, what would I really want to be, have or do?"

Identify everything you want to be / do / have
After 1 day, ask yourself why each item should be there:
- What is the purpose of each goal?
- What are the pros and cons?
- What are the risks involved, both in reaching your goal, and not reaching it?
Ensure they are balanced
Ensure that it is your own goal, one which you must be able to start and reach
And ultimately, will they make you happier?

Goals must be SMART :

Specific - not general or vague
- e.g. I want to meet at least 2 new friends every day.
- NOT. I want to have more friends
Measurable - can be split up into smaller, simpler tasks
Attainable - big, ones which will push yourself to reach
Realistic - in accordance to current situation. Basically... can be done
Timely - with deadlines and milestones you set for yourself

In short, goals must be

BIG - where you aim is at most what you'll get
LONG-RANGED - you must know where you're going
BROKEN DOWN - this makes the seeming impossible look much easier

Words make a difference

Use positive, optimistic words such as "if I" instead of "if I don't"
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless"
-> self-deception? More like, the mind can achieve what it believes. (see "Being Happy - Andrew Matthews")
Communicate your goals to others

"How we use our time under different situations depends on us. There is always something we can do -- make the most out of every situation."

Goal Achieving VS Repair Service
positive motivation	negative motivation	Reaching goals you plan are exciting and joyful
general	specific	Reaching your goals bring you one step closer to your long term goals
clear	unclear	You know what you are doing
simple	multiple	Just a task at a time

Goal setting - Step by Step

Step 1 : Set a goal

Step 2 : Identify what's in it for you

Step 3 : List possible obstacles

Step 4 : Seek counsel and guidance

Step 5 : Consider who can help and guide you

Step 6 : List the skills and knowledge required

Step 7 : Develop a plan of action

Step 8 : Set deadlines for each achievement

"Mountain tops inspire leaders, but the valleys mature them"
- F. Philip Everson

When things don't turn out the way we want them to be,

understand that failure is inevitable
examine your attitude and expectations
never compromise on integrity
check with your goals : have you missed out on any important steps?
look out for more opportunities
forgive
take advice
remember that mistakes are springboards for accomplishments : don't despair, but get back to battle with greater drive, courage and strength
admit mistakes (and correct them)
-> take all the valuable experience you should rightfully gain

"Your integrity, commitment and acceptance of responsibility, and willingness to take the necessary steps to fulfil your dreams reveal the kind of person you are at the very core of your being. Many people dream, but are unwilling to take steps to realise them."

Relationships

Love, Loyalty and Friendship

love them
praise them and hold criticism; be a good-finder (instead of a fault-finder)
buy them over
- in terms of pleasantness, sincerity, warmth of heart and personality
- by banking into your "trust account"

Friend or Foe; Foe to Friend ??

Friends serve your best interest, helping you to develop
Foes are not interested in your well-being
Learn from both your friends and enemies

Fighting and quarreling often ends with compromise on both sides. The wise thing to do is to compromise before the fight, without all the pain, anger and frustration.
Always seek to understand people, though not necessarily persuading or agreeing with them.

Non-verbal communication is important

Appeal and attractiveness show people you care and respect
This applies even more significantly in marriage
- through daily activities, show your love and respect for them
- treat them as VIPs

Marriage and Family

Leave some things unsaid if they will hurt others' feelings, and does not help the situation. Some things you do or say have little significance to you, but may mean the world to others.

Marriage

cooperate, not compete!
remember how you got started
- why you were attracted to each other
start over and date her again
- do something for her every day
- do lots of hugging
- play games together
- plan excitement, keep boredom at bay
- laugh with (not to / at) each other
- surprise her with gifts
- make her fee wanted and cared for
- create a happy, lively and relaxing environment at home. Do not let frustration at work or stress into this sanctuary
problems
- recognise, not ignore
- find a solution
  - by proper communication
  - tell them how you feel about the problem
when you feel frustrated, remember that you love her
appreciate efforts

Relationship skills in a marriage

start with commitment to make the marriage work
understand you have deceived each other in the courtship process and practice the skill of forgiving
verbalise your feelings; do not take punitive actions against your mate
build the skill of courteousness
eliminate words like "always" and "never" -- they are really not true (in criticisms)
find good points, instead of faults
communicate -- your mate is no mind-reader
listen, not just taking turns to speak
choose the time to speak wisely
do not punish, or cause negative feelings
do not store hurts or remember wrongs
give, and forgive

Parenting

Show unconditional love under any circumstances
Accept that you area a role model, and be one
Kids are not a responsibility you can handle at your convenience
Spend quality time with them
Give them 100% of your attention when you are with them
Teach them about personality
- how to communicate effectively
- friendship
- trust
Do not re-emphasize a present problem
- children may believe what you say and continue behaving that way -- they accept it as their personality, permanently fixed and unchangeable
Responsibility
Recognise the little things you do count

The "little" things -- show that you care

starting and ending the day
hugging
conversational meals
language
praise them truthfully ad properly
- give them credit for their efforts, and the end-results

Employee effectiveness

Ensure that they understand your expectations
Never leave new employees to fend for themselves on Day One. Don't leave them insecure and uncertain
Inspect -- not only to check, but to praise
Set a standard for employees to follow
Failure is an event, not a person
Praise the performer, criticize the performance
Praise only outstanding work, not mediocre ones.

Summary

Benchmarks of success

Understand failure is an event, not a person
Know that a success doesn't make you, and a failure doesn't break you
Make friends with your past, see brighter things in the future
Fill yourself with faith, hope and love
Think of your responsibilities, instead of rights
Stand for what's morally right
Be secure in who you are
Gain love and respect from friends and foes
Understand that happiness comes from doing things for others
Give hope, love and encouragement
Forgive those who have wronged you
Be a "servant" friend
Recognise your talents
Serve God well

Things to incorporate into success strategy

Hustle, don't waste time
Character
Risk-taking (calculated)
Time-management
Non-verbal communication
Thick-skinned
Obedience
Courage
Intolerance
Humour
Winning habits

Motivational gains

Giving is receiving
kind words can give direction
Be "at risk" at succeeding
Change your opinion of yourself
Conflict resolution
Praise gets the desired results
Be slow to judge
Small kindness may seem huge when received by the grateful (and needy)
Success is what you make it
Encourage yourself
People need a purpose to live

30 Minutes to Prepare the Perfect CV

2007-07-02T12:15:00.000+08:00

By Lynns William

The aim of your CV
The aim of your CV is simply to get you to an interview. To achieve this your CV needs to:

display your relevant skills and qualities clearly
attract interest
make a good impression

Planning your CV
The purpose of your CV is to motivate a prospective employer to want to interview you. A good CV will show that you:

understand the requirements of the job
have the specific skills needed
have the right sort of experience
have the necessary personal qualities

Three key points:

Keep it short - no more than two A4-sized pages, made up of short succinct sections illustrating your skills and experience
Keep it clear - make it easy to read with clear section headings and a well-organised layout that presents the information in a logical, easy to follow style
Keep it relevant - state your achievements, highlight your skills and experience, and cut out unnecessary details which will only obscure stronger points eg negative or out-of-date information

Include:

wide margins
clear and logical spacing
discrete capital letters, underlining, bold print and italics to emphasize key points

Avoid:

obscure, hard to read typefaces or fonts
fancy borders and other decorations
alterations and amendments on the page ( if anything needs to be changed, correct the original and print off a new copy )
photographs, personal citations, or anything gimmicky and unprofessional

When sending out your CV

send it well before the closing date
send it to a named person. If you don't have a name, ring the company switchboard and ask
include a cover-letter written specifically for that job
like your CV, the letter must be printed in a clear, unfussy typeface on good quality plain white paper or cream A4 paper
you can also use the cover-letter for points specifically asked for in the job advertisement that you wouldn't normally put in your CV eg current salary
send letter and CV unfolded in a white A4-size envelope

Compiling your CV

-- Page One --
- Name, address, telephone number, e-mail address

put all these information in a block paragraph, similar to how a name card would look like

- Personal statement : include this where it will help show your relevant skills and aptitudes more prominently

personal profile - a short statement of around 30 words outlining your key personal characteristics
Career profile - a concise outline of your career highlights and work experience
Career objective - a statement about the specific career or employment position you're aiming for

- Key points : highlight your most important skills, achievements or qualifications by putting them in a separate, easy-to-read , hard-to-ignore section. Depending in what is most relevant to your position, you can entitle this section:

Key Skills - outlining your main skills relevant to the job you're applying for
Key qualifications - stating your academic, technical or professional training relevant to the position
Key achievements - showing your chief career accomplishments and suggesting your ability to achieve similar results in the post you're applying for

- Your current job - the rest of your career history can follow overleaf. Include:

dates of employment
name of employer
job title
a short description of your responsibilities
your key achievements in that position ( if not stated in previous sections ). Point out advantages such as:
- increased productivity
- increased sales or profits
- improved customer relations
- reduced staff turnover
- improved design
- increased efficiency
- winning an award
- improved public profile
- improved employee relations

-- Page Two --
- Career history

continue on the details of your employment history. The further back in your career, the less the details required

- Education and relevant training

work-related training gained in your job
academic qualifications
professional qualifications
vocational training
technical writing

- Misc skills that may be relevant

language skills - define as conversational, business, bilingual or fluent
computer skills - name packages used eg Microsoft Office, Adobe Photoshop etc
first-aid training
driving license

- Personal details

your date of birth
interests and hobbies - give brief details especially if they add to or support your stated skills and qualities
special details ( depends on the job requirements )
- nationality if a foreign national or dual nationality
- registered disability
- marital status or gender
- if you're prepared to relocate
- if you're a non-smoker
- clean driving license ... etc

Targeting your CV
To make your CV really relevant, take a close look at the ad. Look out for:

what they want
what you've got
how to match your CV to their needs

From your own skills, qualities and experience

emphasize those specifically requested
use words and phrases that appear in the ad

Job-specific CV
Different jobs require different emphasis on strengths

The Clerical CV

specific, practical clerical, administrative and organizational skills
experience
proficiency
abilities to follow procedures and work efficiently with others
dependability

The Sales and Marketing CV

ability to sell
successful track record
drive and enthusiasm
confidence in your skills
integrity

The Technical CV

qualifications and training
specific technical skills
experience, competence and expertise
dependability and accuracy
methodical, organized approach
ability to work with others as part of the team

The Management CV

personal qualities that make you a good manager
skill at managing and motivating others
ability to get results
problems-solving skills
interpersonal skills
experience, capability and dependability
drive and determination, and your enthusiasm, energy and commitment

The Creative CV

track record of effective, creative solutions
understanding of your specific field or discipline
background and experience
ability to work both independently and as a part of a bigger team
flexibility and reliability

The Practical CV

practical skills and capabilities
hands-on experience
reliability
competence
ability to follow instructions and procedures
ability, also, to think for yourself and use your intelligence
vocational or job-related training

Special Considerations
Scanning : increasingly more companies are using software to carry out a preliminary scan of CVs. If you're aware that your CV is likely to be scanned:

use plain white paper and print on one side only
use a clear, standard 11- or 12-point font (such as Arial or Optima)
put your name at the top of each page, not just the first one
don't staple or clip pages together
send it unfolded in an A4 envelope -- the scanner may try to read any fold lines
avoid columns (the OCR reads the text from left to right)
add a space in between slashes so that the slash doesn't touch the letters (e.g., IT / IS)
bullet points, italics, bold, underlining and horizontal/vertical lines are okay, as long as the lines do not touch any of the letters.

-- the key words the scanner will be looking for are:

occupations - teaching, engineering, public relations, retailing, financial management, quality control, customer care etc
positions - manager, programmer, editor, engineer, director
specific skills and qualifications - Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, BSc, ISO90000, etc
workplace skills - designed, evaluated, represented, organized, formulated, developed, etc

Be Your Own Counsellor

2007-07-01T12:10:00.000+08:00

by Dainow Sheila

In order to have control, you must understand yourself and the situation:

what's happening now? what's not?
what are others doing / not doing?
what are you thinking?
what are you feeling?
what are you doing?

what do you prefer to be doing and happening?
what will you do if you're succeeding?
how are you going to start?
what's different?
worst case scenarios?
how you might sabotage yourself?

Not Expressing yourself!

unclear (eg cause, specific areas, "because")
vague pronouns (eg it, they, him etc --> WHAT?)
vague verbs (eg I feel hurt --> HOW? WHERE?)
vague pronouns (eg the problem is too big --> WHAT? WHERE? HOW?)
absolutes (eg never, always)
unnecessary limits (eg it's impossible)
generalisations (eg all bosses are evil)
shifting responsibilities
mind reading ( expecting others to do / know something)

= Catalogue =

2007-06-30T23:11:00.000+08:00

100 - Philosophy and Psychology
130 KEL - The Skeptic's Guide to the Paranormal (Kelly, Lynne)
151.1 COV - Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (Covey, Stephen)
153 DEB - Parallel Thinking (de Bono, Edward)
153 DEB - Lateral Thinking (de Bono, Edward)
153.6 MAC - Drop the Pink Elephant (MacFarlan, Bill)
153.85 MAX - Attitude 101 (Maxwell, John C.)
153.852 BAU - How to Persuade People Who Don't Want to be Persuaded (Bauer, Joel & Levy, Mark)
155.2 MIL - The Complete Idiot's Guide to Personality Profile (Miller, Allen R.)
155.232 SEL - Learned Optimism (Seligman, Martin)
158.0842 ROB - Quarter-Life Crisis (Robbins, Alexandra & Wilner, Abby)
158.1 DES - No More Butterflies (Desburg, Peter)
158.1 HIL - Grow Rich With Peace of Mind (Hill, Napolean)
158.1 MAT - Being Happy (Matthew, Andrew)
158.1 NEW - Success is Not an Accident (Newberry, Tommy)
158.1 ZIG - Success for Dummies (Ziglar, Zig)
158.2 MAT - Making Friends (Matthew, Andrew)
158.3 DAI - Be Your Own Counsellor (Dainow, Sheila)

300 - Social Science
330 LEV-[BIZ] Freakonomics (Levitt, Steven D. & Dubner, Stephen J)
378.12092 ALB - Tuesdays With Morrie (Albom, Mitch)

600 - Applied Sciences
650.14 WIL-[BIZ] 30 Minutes to Prepare the Perfect CV (Williams, Lynn)
650.1405 WCYP-[BIZ] What Color is Your Parachute? (Nelson, Richard)
658.402 ROB-[BIZ] Why Teams Don't Work (Robbins, Harvey & Finley, Micheal)