Success For Dummies

by Zig Ziglar

Qualities for success
Attitude

• Acceptance, forgiveness, love, kindness, respect and consideration towards others
• Accepting, open-minded attitude towards personal growth and education
  
• The world changes constantly. Unless you change with it, you're destined for mediocrity at best, experiencing a fraction of the progress you are capable of experiencing
  
• Be positive, yet cautiously realistic towards your own abilities and yourself
  

Right Skills

Character

• Be happy
• Be healthy
  
• Be reasonably prosperous
  
• Be secure
  
• have friends
  
• Have peace of mind
  
• Have good relationships
  
• Have hope
  

Leadership

• Provide an environment in which people succeed
• Have defined and reachable goals
  
• Understand what your people's talents are
  
• Make sure that everyone understands you, and the task you have set out for them. Leave no 'grey' areas
  
• Commit time and effort for every project
  
• Be a cheerleader
  
• Understand that success is internal, not external
  
• Believe in what is right, and stay true to your plans
  
• Have goals for the individuals who work for you. Let them know your expectations.
  
• Set the attitude for the entire building
  
• Talk up positives. Recognise and correct the negatives, but don't dwell on them
  

Self

• Gratitude - be thankful and appreciate people
  
• Attitude - be optimistic, with facts to support
  
• Magnitude - be able to recognise the importance of matters
  
• Latitude - range
  
• Multitude - focus on the opportunities instead of the challenges
  

Characteristics of successful people

• Conviction : determination to work through obstacles
• Commitment : readiness to spend time and effort
  
• Hard work : willingness to sacrifice
  
• Love for what you do : source of burning passion
  
• Integrity : lead by example
  
• Character : where trust is built upon
  
• Discipline : will to follow plans
  
• Consistency
  
• Persistence
  
• Heredity
  
• Humour
  
• Luck
  
• Faith
  
• Passion
  
• Connections
  

Passion

• Analyse what you want in life and come up with a plan for reaching those goals
  
• Take steps towards your goals
  
• Use your head to direct your heart
  

Interpersonal Relations

• Have unshakable integrity, good attitude and a thorough knowledge of the skills
  
• Smile and speak to people
  
• Call people by name
  
• Be friendly, helpful and encouraging
  
• Speak and act as if everything you do is a pleasure
  
• Be genuinely interested in others
  
• Praise and hold back criticism
  
• Be considerate
  
• Be of service
  
• Be humourous
  

Business Success

• Be a superstar
  
• Manage frustration
  
• Treat everyone you meet as a VIP
  
• Get along / make friends with your boss
  ->It is the impossible boss that made it possible for them to develop tolerance and growth, overcome obstacles, and attain their positions of success
  

Different types of personalities

1. Directive, dominant
   
2. Interactive, influencing
   
3. Supportive, stable
   
4. Competitive, cautious, competent
   

Self-evaluation

Q1: What have helped me to be successful so far?

Q2: What do I do that doesn't make me tired?

Q3: What works for me?

Q4: What do others say that I'm good at?

Q5: When am I operating at my optimum levels?


Self-motivation

• Gain momentum through personal growth
  
• Let activities motivate you -- not doing them just when you feel like doing
  
• use humour
  
• give and withdraw rewards
  
• winning and losing are both motivators
  
• motivation from completing tasks
  

Motivations

1. Desire for gain. e.g. wealth, power, honour, wisdom etc
   
2. Fear of loss of
   
   
   
   • respect
     
   • reputation
     
   • status
     
   • appreciation
     
   • power and influence
     
   • happiness
     
   • joy
     
   • peace
     
   • love
     
   
   

Decisions

• understand the process
  
• know that where you stand influences where you sit
  
• should be based on:
  
  
  
  • principle and integrity
    
  • others' advice, but not simply under influence
    
  • facts
    
  
  
• Prioritize your decisions
  
• Form a plan of action
  
• Review the plan truthfully
  
• Perform your best with your decision
  

Good decisions

• Fits your long term objective
  
• May cause temporary "pain" and sacrifice
  
• Must have their benefits and risks weighed
  
• Must be consistent with your integrity
  
• May sometimes be simply listening to your feelings
  
• Are not made under stressed conditions
  
• Should be discussed where needed
  
• May not be welcomed ones
  
• May not be the best ones, but should be the best at the point of making the decision
  

Remember that bad decisions can lead to good ones, and bad decisions are inevitable. Do not try to cover up bad decisions, thus prolonging the mistake. Admit the mistake bravely, and take steps to remedy the problem.

---

Questionnaire - 7 Types of Health

Physical Health

1. Appearance
   
2. Regular checkups
   
3. Energy level
   
4. Muscle tone
   
5. Weight control
   
6. Diet and nutrition
   
7. Stress control
   
8. Endurance and strength
   
9. Fitness program
   

Financial Health

1. Proper priorities
   
2. Personal budget
   
3. Impulse purchase
   
4. Earnings
   
5. Living within income
   
6. Charge accounts
   
7. Insurance
   
8. Investments
   
9. Financial statements
   

Career Health

1. Challenges
   
2. Happiness
   
3. Chance to grow
   
4. Career knowledge
   
5. Education
   
6. Goals program
   
7. Passion
   

Family Health

1. With
   
   • Parents
     
   • Siblings
     
   • Spouse
     
   • Children
     
   • Extended family
     
   
   
2. Time with family
   
3. Enjoy time
   
4. Priority
   

Personal Health

1. Recreation
   
2. Friendship
   
3. Community Involvement
   
4. Hobbies
   
5. Quiet time
   
6. Growth time
   
7. Consistent lifestyle
   

Mental Health

1. Motivation of material
   
2. Uplifting company
   
3. Positive outlook
   
4. Happiness
   
5. Stable mood
   
6. Contentment
   
7. Interest
   
8. Passion
   

Spiritual Health

1. Religion
   
2. Worship
   
3. Sharing faith
   
4. Prayer
   
5. Religious family
   
6. Inner peace
   

---

Goals and Goal-setting
"If I were absolutely certain that I wouldn't fail, and if I had all the resources necessary to get there, what would I really want to be, have or do?"

• Identify everything you want to be / do / have
  
• After 1 day, ask yourself why each item should be there:
  
  
  
  • What is the purpose of each goal?
    
  • What are the pros and cons?
    
  • What are the risks involved, both in reaching your goal, and not reaching it?
    
  
  
• Ensure they are balanced
  
• Ensure that it is your own goal, one which you must be able to start and reach
  
• And ultimately, will they make you happier?
  

Goals must be SMART :

• Specific - not general or vague
  • e.g. I want to meet at least 2 new friends every day.
  • NOT. I want to have more friends
  
  
• Measurable - can be split up into smaller, simpler tasks
  
• Attainable - big, ones which will push yourself to reach
  
• Realistic - in accordance to current situation. Basically... can be done
  
• Timely - with deadlines and milestones you set for yourself
  

In short, goals must be

1. BIG - where you aim is at most what you'll get
   
2. LONG-RANGED - you must know where you're going
   
3. BROKEN DOWN - this makes the seeming impossible look much easier
   

Words make a difference

• Use positive, optimistic words such as "if I" instead of "if I don't"
  
• "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless"
  -> self-deception? More like, the mind can achieve what it believes. (see "Being Happy - Andrew Matthews")
  
• Communicate your goals to others
  

"How we use our time under different situations depends on us. There is always something we can do -- make the most out of every situation."

Goal Achieving VS Repair Service
positive motivation	negative motivation	Reaching goals you plan are exciting and joyful
general	specific	Reaching your goals bring you one step closer to your long term goals
clear	unclear	You know what you are doing
simple	multiple	Just a task at a time

Goal setting - Step by Step

Step 1 : Set a goal

Step 2 : Identify what's in it for you

Step 3 : List possible obstacles

Step 4 : Seek counsel and guidance

Step 5 : Consider who can help and guide you

Step 6 : List the skills and knowledge required

Step 7 : Develop a plan of action

Step 8 : Set deadlines for each achievement


"Mountain tops inspire leaders, but the valleys mature them"
- F. Philip Everson


When things don't turn out the way we want them to be,

• understand that failure is inevitable
  
• examine your attitude and expectations
  
• never compromise on integrity
  
• check with your goals : have you missed out on any important steps?
  
• look out for more opportunities
  
• forgive
  
• take advice
  
• remember that mistakes are springboards for accomplishments : don't despair, but get back to battle with greater drive, courage and strength
  
• admit mistakes (and correct them)
  -> take all the valuable experience you should rightfully gain
  

"Your integrity, commitment and acceptance of responsibility, and willingness to take the necessary steps to fulfil your dreams reveal the kind of person you are at the very core of your being. Many people dream, but are unwilling to take steps to realise them."

---

Relationships

Love, Loyalty and Friendship

• love them
  
• praise them and hold criticism; be a good-finder (instead of a fault-finder)
  
• buy them over
  
  • in terms of pleasantness, sincerity, warmth of heart and personality
    
  • by banking into your "trust account"
    
  
  

Friend or Foe; Foe to Friend ??

• Friends serve your best interest, helping you to develop
  
• Foes are not interested in your well-being
  
• Learn from both your friends and enemies
  

Fighting and quarreling often ends with compromise on both sides. The wise thing to do is to compromise before the fight, without all the pain, anger and frustration.
Always seek to understand people, though not necessarily persuading or agreeing with them.

Non-verbal communication is important

• Appeal and attractiveness show people you care and respect
  
• This applies even more significantly in marriage
  
  • through daily activities, show your love and respect for them
    
  • treat them as VIPs
    
  
  

---

Marriage and Family

Leave some things unsaid if they will hurt others' feelings, and does not help the situation. Some things you do or say have little significance to you, but may mean the world to others.


Marriage

• cooperate, not compete!
  
• remember how you got started
  
  • why you were attracted to each other
    
  
  
• start over and date her again
  
  • do something for her every day
    
  • do lots of hugging
    
  • play games together
    
  • plan excitement, keep boredom at bay
    
  • laugh with (not to / at) each other
    
  • surprise her with gifts
    
  • make her fee wanted and cared for
    
  • create a happy, lively and relaxing environment at home. Do not let frustration at work or stress into this sanctuary
    
  
  
• problems
  
  • recognise, not ignore
    
  • find a solution
    
    • by proper communication
      
    • tell them how you feel about the problem
      
    
    
• when you feel frustrated, remember that you love her
  
• appreciate efforts
  

Relationship skills in a marriage

• start with commitment to make the marriage work
  
• understand you have deceived each other in the courtship process and practice the skill of forgiving
  
• verbalise your feelings; do not take punitive actions against your mate
  
• build the skill of courteousness
  
• eliminate words like "always" and "never" -- they are really not true (in criticisms)
  
• find good points, instead of faults
  
• communicate -- your mate is no mind-reader
  
• listen, not just taking turns to speak
  
• choose the time to speak wisely
  
• do not punish, or cause negative feelings
  
• do not store hurts or remember wrongs
  
• give, and forgive
  

Parenting

• Show unconditional love under any circumstances
  
• Accept that you area a role model, and be one
  
• Kids are not a responsibility you can handle at your convenience
  
• Spend quality time with them
  
• Give them 100% of your attention when you are with them
  
• Teach them about personality
  
  • how to communicate effectively
    
  • friendship
    
  • trust
    
  
  
• Do not re-emphasize a present problem
  
  
  
  • children may believe what you say and continue behaving that way -- they accept it as their personality, permanently fixed and unchangeable
    
  
  
• Responsibility
  
• Recognise the little things you do count
  

The "little" things -- show that you care

• starting and ending the day
  
• hugging
  
• conversational meals
  
• language
  
• praise them truthfully ad properly
  
  • give them credit for their efforts, and the end-results
    
  
  

---

Employee effectiveness

1. Ensure that they understand your expectations
   
2. Never leave new employees to fend for themselves on Day One. Don't leave them insecure and uncertain
   
3. Inspect -- not only to check, but to praise
   
4. Set a standard for employees to follow
   
5. Failure is an event, not a person
   
6. Praise the performer, criticize the performance
   
7. Praise only outstanding work, not mediocre ones.
   

---

Summary

Benchmarks of success

1. Understand failure is an event, not a person
   
2. Know that a success doesn't make you, and a failure doesn't break you
   
3. Make friends with your past, see brighter things in the future
   
4. Fill yourself with faith, hope and love
   
5. Think of your responsibilities, instead of rights
   
6. Stand for what's morally right
   
7. Be secure in who you are
   
8. Gain love and respect from friends and foes
   
9. Understand that happiness comes from doing things for others
   
10. Give hope, love and encouragement
    
11. Forgive those who have wronged you
    
12. Be a "servant" friend
    
13. Recognise your talents
    
14. Serve God well
    

Things to incorporate into success strategy

1. Hustle, don't waste time
   
2. Character
   
3. Risk-taking (calculated)
   
4. Time-management
   
5. Non-verbal communication
   
6. Thick-skinned
   
7. Obedience
   
8. Courage
   
9. Intolerance
   
10. Humour
    
11. Winning habits
    

Motivational gains

1. Giving is receiving
   
2. kind words can give direction
   
3. Be "at risk" at succeeding
   
4. Change your opinion of yourself
   
5. Conflict resolution
   
6. Praise gets the desired results
   
7. Be slow to judge
   
8. Small kindness may seem huge when received by the grateful (and needy)
   
9. Success is what you make it
   
10. Encourage yourself
    
11. People need a purpose to live