No More Butterflies

Overcoming Stagefright, Shyness, Interview Anxiety & Fear of Public Speaking
by Peter Desburg, Ph. D

What do you fear?
Ask yourself this question.
Whenever you're not in action, you are in fear of something.
When you feel that you're underachieving, you're also under the control of fear...

---

So how do we deal with our fears?
1. Relax.

Simply relax. Let go of everything for a moment. Realise that you cannot multitask effectively - you cannot concentrate on your performance when you are constantly worried that someone is ridiculing you, or when you are constantly judging yourself.

2. Identify and analyse your fears.

Write them down. Make the abstract more concrete. Imagine the situation you fear to be in. Look and feel the evidence supporting your fear. Include the worst-case scenarios you think may happen, and possible alternative interpretations. Basically, confront your fears head-on. Then spring into action. Analyse your fears. Look at what you have written down. Does it still make sense? Is it exaggerated? Are there logical thinking flaws?

3. Challenge your fears.

Set goals to minimize the chance of such situations occurring. Plan and act.

---

Dealing with avoidance and procrastination
1. For avoidance -

It's all about convincing yourself. Write down the rewards for doing whatever action, as well as the advantages of avoiding the task. It should now seem that action is almost always superior to inaction and avoidance.

2. For procrastination -

Prepare a "con list". Every time you procrastinate some action, for legitimate reasons or not, write that reason down on that list. And every time you do that, look at your previous entries. You'll be surprised how difficult it is to use a reason after you have used it a few times already.

---

Stress Inoculation -- "anxiety vaccination"
1. Systematic Desensitization (The Gradual Approach)

Be relaxed. Set goals and milestones for yourself. Go small steps at a time, and as you master each step, move on to the next, until you arrive at your goal.

Eg. You have to give a speech to a huge audience.

You may act as follows:

1. Present your talk into a voice recorder
   
2. Try the talk on a friend or two
   
3. Try it on a few colleagues
   
4. Try it on a larger group similar to your intended audience
   
5. Give the talk to the actual audience
   

2. Flooding (Comparable Practice)

Similar to how some people learn how to swim - Plunge right in! Then plunge in again! And again! ...

3. Implosion (Going Beyond)

Doing something even more difficult - this will make your task at hand seem so easy.
Eg. Instead of giving the talk to the group of 100 people, find a larger audience of 200 and present your speech. At your actual 100-people talk, it'll seem easier.

---

Improving performance
1. Reducing Anxiety
2. Reducing Self-Monitoring
~ you can't concentrate properly when you're constantly judging yourself

• additional practice - become so good at your performance that self-monitoring will be less effective
  
• attention focusing - focus your attention on the presentation and connecting with people
  
• practise while self-monitoring - judge and improve yourself in practise session to improve
  
• monitor the audience - change accordingly!
  

3. Increasing organisation

• Mnemonic Techniques
  
• Preparing an Outline
  
• Preparing the Complete Text
  

4. Praticing

• Practise Frequently
  
• Use Imagery To Simulate the Actual Presentation Environment
  
• Practise Incidentals
  
• Practise as You Will Perform
  
• Practise Physical Skills
  

---

Overcoming Shyness

Causes:

1. A fear of people
2. Situations that invoke a fear of negative evaluation
3. Low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness
4. A perceived lack of social skills


Additional skills which are useful:

• Giving (and Receiving) Compliments
  
• Saying "No"
  
  - Determine if the request is reasonable
  - Clarify any doubts
  - Avoid excuse for saying "no"
  - Avoid apologising when you say "no"
  

---

Public Speaking Techniques
3 Parts - Pre-Production, Production and Post-Production

- Pre-Production

1. Choosing a Topic
   
2. Determining a Purpose - remember that a speech is not like a pamphlet; take note of your intonation, facial expressions, non-verbal techniques and gestures, eye contact, personal interaction
   
3. Establish Your Credibility - make them believe you're "real"
   
4. Prepare the Material to be Included - from the audience's perspective, scope
   
5. Researching the Topic - examples, imagery
   
6. Visual Aids - ensure they're not a distraction instead
   
7. Organising the Talk - intro, body and conclusion
   
8. Editing the Talk - shorten the presentation for greater effectiveness, double space the initial draft for easy editing, write out the original version as you edit
   
9. Audience Involvement - ask them questions, ask for comments, get them to ask you questions
   
10. Advice - reduces uncertainty, suggest preparation activities, source of criticism, role models
    

- Production

1. Handouts - too many things for them to remember? include only important points
   
2. Non-verbal Communication - don't talk about things that make you uncomfortable, appear to enjoy giving the talk, make eye contact
   
3. Never Apologise for Small Mistakes You Make - people normally do not notice, or care, and it'll make you more nervous
   
4. Compliment the Audience and Show Them Respect
   

- Post-Production

1. Evaluate the Talk
   

---

Using humour

Humour and jokes should be self-directed if possible. Never direct hostile jokes to your audience or anyone who can make you seem discriminatory. Even if you think the jokes are pretty harmless, others may not think so. And remember the power of crowd influence.

---

Interviews and Auditions
There are several types of interviews -

• Direct Interviews
  
• Unstructured Interviews
  
• Stress Interviews
  
• Group Interviews
  
• Board Interviews
  
• Screening Interviews
  
• Selection Interviews
  

Preparation for the Interview:

• What does the company do?
  
• What is its major competitors, and how is the company unique?
  
• Is the company growing or downsizing?
  
• What are the major books, publications, and professional organizations in your field?
  
• What are the current trends, alternate points of view, and competing theories?
  
• Identify the job specifications before the interview
  

Common Questions in an Interview:

• Tell me about yourself
  
• Explain any difficult circumstances at a previous job, and the conditions under which you left.
  
• Why do you want to work in this field, or at this job?
  
• Why do you want to work for this company?
  
• What are your career objectives?
  
• What are your unique qualifications?
  
• What are your major strengths and weaknesses?
  

Tips for the Interview:

• Remember the interviewer's name
  
• Attempt to make eye contact
  
• Do not use the interview as an opportunity to make personal statements.
  
• As you respond, it's essential to look comfortable rather than awkward or guilty.
  
• While humour is generally a plus, be careful not to use it insensitively.
  
• Maintain total honesty.
  
• Use the full palette of presentation tools to keep the interviewer interested.
  
• Become sensitive to the interviewer.
  
• Help the interview flow smoothly.
  
• Learn to deal with silence in the interview.
  
• Bring pen and paper to the interview.