Making Friends

by Andrew Matthews


Be yourself

• Most people live lives of quiet desperation -- don't
  
• Stop comparing; no one is the same
  
• Remember that no one is perfect!
  
• We don't have to change everyone else -- when we gently change some of our own ideas, our relationships improve automatically
  
• People who laugh at themselves have more fun, more friends and less ulcers! When we feel embarrassed about ourselves, others feel embarrassed, and ultimately, we cut them off
  
• While a belief system is holding you back, you keep creating opportunities for yourself to learn about it. Once you make a breakthrough, you don't really have to keep learning the same lesson, and your life changes
  
• You can control the situation. Make your own decisions and stay by it. There is no need to seek approval of others. You need not explain your actions
  
• Be your own judge as to what is fair -- don't allow others to sentence you to guilt based on their own perceptions of right and wrong. Dare to say "NO" without guilt, or explanation.
  

Problem Solving

• It's often your own fault; fix them and learn the lesson
  
• Nobody can make you miserable without your permission
  
• Don't concentrate on the problem -- concentrate on the solutions!
  
• Only little people make nasty remarks and only little people rake offense. Be a big person
  
• There are 3 types of arguers:
  
  • Reformers
    
  • Attention seekers
    
  • Fighters
    
  ~ Don't even bother with the last two. They have the right to disagree, but that's it
  

Interpersonal

• Be tactful and tell it like it is. Honesty with others is a sign of respect for others, and a sign of self-respect
  
• Express anger rationally. Let others know how you feel frankly, instead of scolding or keeping it to yourself. Say "I am angry about... " or "I really appreciate... , but... "
  
• Others respect us to the degree we respect ourselves
  
• Never be dragged by guilt or predictions
  
• Assert yourself and be objective about it
  
• Take responsibility for your feelings and be specific on what you want.
  
• You win some you lose some:
  When you win, it means that you can take control of the situation and get what you want
  If you lose, at least you have expressed your feelings
  
• What people think of you is none of your business
  
• While respecting others, be true to yourself; if people disagree with you, it's their business
  
• Compliments make people feel wonderful
  
• People do crave recognition
  
• Good speakers
  
  • relate to their audience
    
  • give little thought to the impression they are making
    
  • are humourous
    
• Listen!! Simply listen. People will appreciate that
  
• Believe in yourself
  
• Give everyone personal space
  
• People appreciate us for what we say, and what we don't say even more sometimes
  
• Do not tell people that they are wrong, look for alternatives
  
• Admitting mistakes is brave and admirable